Mamma said there’d be days like this.

24 Aug

Mamma said there’d be days like this…

Sorry, I wanted a mamma reference and couldn’t think of anything else.

This is part 2.

We are still in Starbucks, and sitting next to me is Mrs. Evil Couple, which in and of itself is a goddam party.

But Mamma Evil has joined her.

And she is a whole different kind of arrogant mean.

She just evicted the suit sitting next to me.

Mamma Evil is two feet from me.

And she smells slightly like…..Ben Gay.

Or soup.

Maybe like Ben Gay soup.

Cambell’s would never have the balls to make that. Maybe Progresso.

Mrs. Evil walks over with their coffee creations and sits.

Something is off here. Something about how she is acting.

After a moment, it comes to me.

If you have ever watched two alpha dogs that just met, if they are around each other for more than a minute without fighting, you finally see one of them ducking his head and tucking his tail.

Submissive. That is what I am seeing.

Mamma Evil is the Alpha female.

And submissive just looks so out of place on Mrs. Evil.

Mamma Evil raises an eyebrow.

“No cake?” Her voice is light, but has an edge.

“Oh, I thought you said-”

“Ah, the thinking again.” Her voice is tired.

At this point, I snort, loudly, while staring at my computer.

Both women turn to stare as I try to fade into the background.

I mumble an apology and gesture vaguely at my computer screen.

They ignore me.


The reason I snorted was that I thought about how to describe Mamma Evil’s attitude, and I came up with the same one I describe her daughter with.

She thinks you are a moron and she is SO sick of your shit.

Matching attitudes, like handbags.

I take a quiet moment to stop myself before I begin to giggle.

Mrs. Evil gets up and stomps over to the cashier.

Someone else was right in the middle of an order, but that doesn’t stop her.

She orders two pieces of coffee cake and just glares at the cashier, daring her to say “What your turn.”

I can’t actually see her face, but I have seen that glare.

The cashier is a bubbly 20 something that doesn’t have NEAR the experience in life to withstand this.

As expected, she breaks and serves up two pieces of coffee cake.

Mrs. Evil stomps back to the table. She is not nearly as good as her husband at swallowing this kind of arrogant shit.

It a developed skill that she lacks.

“I was talking to Renka, and we were discussing your car-” Mrs. Evil is gingerly working into a something that she is bracing for a fight on.

“Try not to speak, Tasha.” Mamma Evil sips her cup, not hesitating at stepping on someone elses sentence. She knew her daughter would stop talking.

“You are so much more intelligent when you don’t speak.” She puts her cup down.

“You and your sister are very busy. That is good.”

She pauses.

“You, you can hear fine?” He voice takes on an angry tinge.

She’s talking to me.


I had stopped typing and was just staring at a point in between my table and theirs.

Its pretty obvious what I  was doing.

I have just been outed.

Mamma Evil is pissed. In short order she snatches up her purse and walks off.


Mrs. Evil stands as well.

Just before she turns to follow her mother out, she turns to me, her mouth forming a single word, in total silence.


And off she goes.




Posted by on August 24, 2012 in Uncategorized


2 responses to “Mamma said there’d be days like this.

  1. Diane mcKinley

    August 24, 2012 at 8:35 am

    Read yesterday and today, I think I know these women. I know I’ve them both! Loved this one!

  2. Diane mcKinley

    August 24, 2012 at 8:39 am

    Re:second sentence. My iPad left out the word read. I read both of those women or two just like them.


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