You must remember this, a kiss is still best kept to yourself.

07 Aug

I have a thing about old movies.

First off, Humphrey Bogart was the shit.

He played the same character in every film

A badass guy with a soft side and a past.

Also, he had phenomenal taste in women.

If you think I’m wrong, take a look at a pic of an 27 year old Ingrid Bergman that starred opposite Humphrey in Casablanca.

Now you see why Humphrey used to call breaks in shooting and have loud sex in his dressing room.

Casablanca had it all.

Tough guys, beautiful women, Nazi’s, the French Resistance, and most of all, Peter Lorrie.

Peter Lorrie was the biggest weasel to walk the planet.

You hated him from the moment he walked into the scene until he left.

And in the back of our heads, where no one else knows, we were all glad the Nazi’s took him away to do God knows what to him.

Now, the oddest place to be watching Casablanca is sitting in the plastic dining area outside of Costco, eating soft serve yogurt and watching Humphrey and Ingrid on my Kindle Fire.

With the headphones on, you really can’t hear anything going on around you.

Unless your cell phone rings and you have to shut it all down to answer.

I had just hung up when the old man next to me began to hold court.

“Barak Obama has no respect for dark skinned black men.”

That is an interesting line. Possibly racist.

I hold off putting my headphones on for the sole purpose of listening in. Purely in the interest of investigation.

Our speaker today is a senior citizen of the African American persuasion.

More of a senior senior, because this guy is old.

And, per his statement, Barak Obama would have no respect for him as he is incredibly dark.

There is a group of younger men sitting around him that I am taking to be family.

They resemble him a lot and they have that “I’m bored but I can’t leave him, we’re family”, look.

“And Mitt Romoney,” (Spelled phonetically, the way it was said)”That man is Puerto Rican!”

This final line is said with a finger stabbed into the air.

For those that understand that generation, this is a serious pronouncement.

The finger stab is not something you throw around lightly.

The beauty of both of these statements is that, because both men are politicians, there is absolutely no way to prove either one.

If you accuse anyone else you know that they don’t respect dark skinned black men, they will say “Yes I do.”

And the argument is over.

Same thing with the “Romoney”/Puerto Rican comment. “No I’m not.” And your done.

However, a politician can say or do anything, and there is always a group that will disagree with it.

If a politician says that the sun comes up in the East, there is a certain percentage of people out there that will claim that he is being controlled, the statement was out of context and that the sun rising in the East is the fault of a previous office holder.

Obviously controlled by the unions.

As a general rule I dislike politicians, mainly because it seems a little creepy that they think an awful lot about controlling my behavior.

And they also are concerned with whats in my pocket.

We assume its the money they are thinking about.

But there is that fear that they are thinking about your genitals.

Seriously creepy.

Politicians should have to register when they move into a new neighborhood, just like sex offenders.

And I am not comfortable with them working with children.



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Posted by on August 7, 2012 in Uncategorized


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