Bad Monkey Syndrome

03 Aug

August seems to be the kiss of death for relationships.

I have talked to three friends in the last 2 days whose relationships are either in the shitter completely or is giving them emotional indigestion.

These things happen in threes.

2 are marriages, so we won’t go there. (Yes, even I back off on some things.)

I am always of the opinion that issues in a marriage can be turned around, despite my own tragic experience.

However, the single one is a mess.

I am going to take shit for this, because she reads this blog daily.

But she is smitten with a guy she knows and he is kind of slow to respond, like most guys.

Women tend to approach relationships like they’re climbing mount everest, nothing left to chance, lots of planning.

Men, on the other hand, view relationship like finding money on the ground.

Look what I found! What luck!

But women have an interesting method of tackling the project.

they have their strategies, but it all comes down to one thing.

His response.

There is a massive amount of speculation before the ball is put into his court.

And then they wait.

But, the weird thing is, they all assume that we are on the same expectation page they are on.

Guys miss a lot of clues.


There is a saying, “Some guys don’t get it till you hit them with a brick.”

Some guys need a big brick.

When he does not respond, all hell breaks loose.

In the vacuum of no response a lot of crazy shit exists.

As in this case.

I spent a solid 40 minutes on reading texts of why he hasn’t called, before I asked one question.

“Did you call him?”

Theres a stumper. She hadn’t.

Why? Waiting to see what he’ll do.

Guys rarely see things the same way women do.

They aren’t crazy, or dysfunctional, or from Mar’s. (Stupidest FUCKING book of all time.)

They are just men.

Different sex. Different mental set up.

Not the nurturer, more the hunter-gatherer.

But, it is a two way street.

Men need to realize that, when dealing with ANY female, different rules apply.

Blowing off someones text for a few days is something guys do to each other.

Blowing off a woman’s text is a declaration of war.


Maybe. Depends on how she views it.

But, rest assured that she views it as SOMETHING.

When maybe he just never got around to answering.


Women do not respond well to being ignored on a genetic instinct.

Not calling back bitch slaps her biological clock to 5 minutes late.

And like my father says, “You’re either 5 minutes early of your late.”

He was talking about going to work. (The man’s work ethic is legend.)

But it fits this situation like a glove.

Now if this guy will call her, and maybe she’ll fit him like a glove.

Yes, that is meant to be filthy.





Posted by on August 3, 2012 in Uncategorized


3 responses to “Bad Monkey Syndrome

  1. Impatient

    August 3, 2012 at 9:49 am

    Not going to chase him. After two text messages not returned, I’m moving on. You snooze, you lose. He has sent too many mixed signals. If he was interested I would have heard from him by now. NEXT!!!

    • Bittermac

      August 3, 2012 at 9:51 am

      Anger? Ok, thats one way to go about it. Especially after he wouldn’t answer the phone when you called. You did call…….right?

      • Impatient

        August 3, 2012 at 10:22 am

        I called. No answer. So I left a friendly message (I’m not being sarcastic). Only time will tell if he is as interested as he once lead me to believe. And for all your reads out there; I wouldn’t know if I fit him like a glove. Maybe I will still be single if he ever calls.


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