Welcome to the Freak Show.

10 Jul

Did someone dose my coffee with acid when I wasn’t looking?

That might be the only explanation for what I am seeing.

The Freak Show.

Some of it is visual and some of it is performance.

But all with a common thread of freak to them.

First off, the midgets.

I know, I know. What an uncaring bastard.

But there are three of them, walking thru the mall as we speak.

Do you know how rare that is?

Its like a Leprechaun showing up and offering to mow your lawn.

It just doesn’t happen.

Moving on.

Next up, the Plastic woman.

It took a few minutes of staring to figure out what I was looking at.

She is 5’2, small framed, very delicate like one of those little french girls you see in foreign films.

Her bust line is easily beyond DD. WAY too big for her build.

And, judging by the fact that one seems to pull up and too the left, the doctor didn’t have the skilled hand needed for perfection.

Her lips have been injected and stick out, lending a kind of slutty duck appearance.

Her chin has been unnaturally pointed, to the point that it looks wrong and she may be able to open beer cans with a nod of her head.

The hair extensions are noticeable only because she stepped thru a shaft of sunlight for a second and hair on the top shines, the bottom doesn’t.

Long fake fingernails sit like neon claws at the end of her hands.

I finally gave up trying to guess her age.

She could be anyway from late 20’s to Mose’s prom date for all I know.

Too many aftermarket products to make the call.

What really makes her oddities stand out is the fact that the girl behind her is built similarly, but all natural. When nature throws this kind of look together, it works and works well.


Moving on, and try to stay with me, we will not wait for you.

Mall Security Elvis.

That alone is unusual, but not impossible.

But a black man, easily 6’6, tipping the scales at 400+?

That is a hell of a look you got going on there, King.

Not a play on Elivis’ nickname, that is the name on his namebadge.

I almost shit myself when I read it.

And the amount of work for a black man to daily whip his hair into an Elvis pompadour is impressive.

I applaud your dedication, sir.

And across from the Starbucks in the mall is a good sized crowd, waiting to be seated at the Red Robin. Its an even mix of black, white, brown and one or two yellow folk.

But what really stands out is the black gentleman in the suit.

Not unusual, but really stands out in this crowd.

Everyone is dressed in easy casual, except for this man and his date.

They both have rings on 3rd left, so we will assume they are married.

But the man has expensive taste in clothes.

I used to have to dress and dress well for a position in my past, and I developed an eye for fine suits.

Separate the expensive, which is very, from the taste, which is impeccable and you are left with a man who possesses a fine eye for what he looks good in.

Or do we congratulate her? Or his tailor, for that matter.

Once we finish with them, the bearded lady is almost anticlimactic.

Sweety, you were not blessed with looks, so lets not call attention to them.

Or at least trim your facial hair a little more attractively.

I used to wonder why I am the only one who seems to see this sort of thing, and I came to the conclusion that I pay attention, plain and simple.

Sometimes, thats a blessing.

Sometimes, its a curse.




Posted by on July 10, 2012 in Uncategorized


2 responses to “Welcome to the Freak Show.

  1. MR

    July 10, 2012 at 12:43 pm

    The freak show that is the mall is one of Sabrina and my favorite past times. It’s better when you have some one to nudge when you see some weirdness of humanity trying to pull something off that they shouldn’t have and can share in their bad taste or unfortunate looks. You share it well…

  2. Cheryl

    July 11, 2012 at 10:02 am

    Lol, yes over doing beautiful results in ugly.i resorted from blonde battle to dark hair that hinders ill attamps at blonde that result in peed colored yellow, blondes a task. Fake nails are out, I thinks it’s because text was invented and the two don’t mix, not to mention, pick your nose with a fake nail, did you really get what your digging for and will it ever leave your nail, especially before tearing that bread in half. No its not a poppi seed.its last weeks nose adventure. So I stick with the forehead Botox because I don’t need a stair case on my forehead during an conversation that gets me all animated thus stair case turns on, god forbid someone tries to walk up it. Boons, well who likes limo c’s over a healthy perky d. I rest my case. I’m only maintaining. $160 every few month forehead Botox, just enuff for a small nice crowd to still think I’m 32. Cheap price to trick people 🙂


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