You and the horse you rode in on.

05 Jul

Guys have this thing about the size of their penis.

Girls also, have a thing about the size of a guys penis.

So lets break it down.

Guys have a thing about the size of there own penis, and the guys that have a thing about other guys penis’s got beaten up a lot in high school for peeking in the showers.

But unless a guy has a horse type penis, he is insecure about the size of his.

Girls get into the penis size thing on three different fronts.

The first is what is known as a size queen.

These are girls who’s interest in penis’s in general is the larger the better.

They call the “Large” guys they “make friends” with Horses.

And by “make friends”, I mean screw.

I would not know a lot about any of this scenario, as I am not a Horse.

(A friend of mine once started a rumor about me being a Horse, and it led to my getting intimate with a girl I had no business being involved with. Size queens disappoint easily.)

The second woman that gets into penis’ is what I call “Curious Georgette”

She is just plain curious about the penis.

What it is, what it does, and what it can do.

At a certain age, the first few months of a young woman’s first few sexual relationship becomes a penis trials test.

Bending, twisting, and even choking seem to be on the table.

Its not pretty.

The third and final woman/pennis interaction is the statistics.

You run into this woman every now and then.

She is into theory, rumors and hard data about the penis.

She has theories about hand and foot size and how that connects to overall size.

She will tell you all about the size of the foot going from the elbow to the wrist, the serious difference between circumsized and not and the supposed real difference between  white men and black.

And she is not shy about it at all.

Without being asked, she will go on at length about the finding about her research.

I inadvertently got into a totally unasked for conversation with an old friend.

I spent most of the conversation hassling her for being a penis obsessed woman.

And then she dropped the creepy bombshell.

She admitted that she often fondles her husband when he is asleep.

In a non-sexual way.

Think that one over.

It gets creepier the longer you do.

Talk about a phone call gone awkward.

Thankfully, she took a hint and dropped it after a few minutes.

You find out the oddest things about old friends when you just start chit chatting.

Well, maybe not unexpected, but still odd.



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Posted by on July 5, 2012 in Uncategorized


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