Funerals are always a sad thing.
Even when they say things like “Its was a mercy” or “its for the best.”
Death sucks, any way you slice it.
In my family, there is a Byzantine conspiracy of who announces it first.
There is power in that announcement.
Kind of an odd version of “Hot potato”.
(Potatoe? Am I Dan Quayle now?)
Few of you got that last line, including a few who should have.
I have actually heard the disappointment in family members voices when they called to tell me someone died and found out I already knew.
(Hey, my mother is a Psychic, I hear about MOST things ahead of time.)
That disappointment is sad, in and of itself.
It makes the unspoke statement, “They would have been happy if I was really upset.
But some people thrive on that.
I used to have a aunt related by marriage, (Somehow) that I would never hear from unless someone died.
Funerals are a big deal in my family.
Part grieving, part reunion, part party and sometimes just an evil chance to see how poorly others are aging.
And the food at the after party is usually pretty good
Pot lucks mostly.
It seems that all families are the same.
Everyone seems to have their signature dish.
“Those of Emma’s potatos” or “Thats Traci’s green bean salad.”
I don’t really have a dish.
I cruise the buffet and sit in judgement on others and their culinary skills.
However, if we BBQ, I am in command.
I can man a grill like nobodies business.
In our family, we had a hamburger stand, and an automatic transmission shop.
So you either cooked are turned a wrench.
And I am not much with a wrench.
So cook it is.
The nice thing about having a whole family that can man a grill is there is no shortage of temps if you need to go to the bathroom.
I have a cousin that was one of the more high powered criminal defense attorneys in Southern California.
You should see him man a grill.
You never forget those skills.
Growing up, it didn’t matter what you wanted to do in the long run, everyone worked at the burger stand.
Kind of like a family tradition version of jury duty.
So it is not a shocker that there is a lot of comfort food at these events.
The food seems to help.
It doesn’t make grieving any easier, but it does seem to give some comfort.
Instead of a hand on your shoulder, its more like a soothing hand on your belly.
“Everythings going to be ok” with gas.
In the end, I think all families evolve the after party into whatever seems to help everyone get thru.
And thats the whole point.
HOW DOES YOUR FAMILY HANDLE A WAKE?