Because he’s the fat man, thats why.

04 Jun

Always trust the fat man.

Solid advice for a stranger in a strange land.

I am traveling and find myself hungry in a city I don’t know.

Where better to find out where to eat than the internet, which doesn’t eat at all.

There is a website that lets people rate local eating places.

Which I find as valuable as the letter rating from the health department you find on the front door of all restaurants.

At least, for the most part.

I don’t think its an ancient Chinese saying but it should be, but don’t take the opinion of a skinny man about food.

This is totally profiling.

Next to every customer review is a little photo of the reviewer.

And I will take a fat man’s review on food, ten times out of ten.

Because, if you think about it, a fat man has a connection to food that transcends just giving an opinion.

When you see the review of a guy with a skinny face, he usually talks about the ambiance and the service.

How was the wine list, that sort of thing.

A fat man’s first comment, based on the exhaustive 5 minute research I made, is always about taste, or the size of the portions.

Of course.

Its all a matter of perspective.

Now, here is the important difference, and its a really important one.

The skinny guy will eat shit food for the sake of ambiance or other things.

The fat guy? Never.

If the fat guy is eating there, the food and portion size are solid, otherwise, he wouldn’t be wasting his time.

For the locals, this is no big deal.

But, if you are only in town for a few days and really are not looking for a lot of risk, this is your move.

Its like buying a T-bill, but for food, not sexy, but does what you want it to.

The skinny guy will make comments like, “Find out who is the chef that night. Chef Carlyle is to be avoided and is the reason for the D rating from the health department.”

Simply because a certain chef is working, I should not be rolling the food poisoning dice.

Ptomaine poisoning is something even Vegas money will shy away from.

In the end, do what your going to do.

But, if you end up shitting your brains out thru your ass, don’t blame me or the fat man.

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Posted by on June 4, 2012 in Uncategorized


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