Give till it hurts.

16 May

There is a really cynical scene in the movie Scrooged with Bill Murray, where he is chewing out an old girlfriend for being too charitable.

“Scrap ‘em off, Clair! You want to save someone? Save yourself!”

It was an awesome line and clearly established him as the bad guy who just doesn’t “Get it”.

Maybe he “Got it” more than we realized.

I have a friend who is a much better person than me.

She is involved in a charity that does good work.

I would go into more detail, but this is not about the message so much as the method.

The word for it is volunteering.

Volunteers come in several flavors.

The most common is the Do Gooder.

The Do Gooder is fairly useless.

They make a lot of noise, sound involved, but their “Flake Factor” is among the highest.

Unfortunately, they are the majority.

The next tier up is the worker bee.

These people are steady.

They are dedicated without being fanatics.

They show up and actually do stuff, which makes them valuable.

And then we reach the highest level of volunteer.

The Crusader.

The Crusader is amazing.

Equal parts fanatic, motivational speaker, and saint.

They do most of the heavy lifting and its impressive to watch.

The one thing that is never pretty is when the Crusader burns out.

Volunteering is a lot like a debilitating drug habit, it will wear you down over time and piss you off like nothing else.

It becomes your life.

And thats when it gets ugly.

The need for volunteers to begin with means that no one wanted to do it in the first place.

So, even if you are into it, it will eventually eat at you.

And then, the inevitable happens.

The charity, either intentionally or not, no judgement here, will shit all over you.

Like you owe is money, dated its sister, signed a hideous pre-nup, you name it, they will screw you over with a vicious vengence.

Its the nature of the beast.

Like an elephant stepping on a mouse.

It didn’t know the mouse was there, but then again, it didn’t care if the mouse was there either.

Which is kind of like cutting its own throat.

Because Crusaders are as rare as unicorns, and more prone to charity work.

And they will wish the Crusader was there in the long run.

And the really sick part is that the Crusader, true to their nature, will sigh, pick up their sword, and go back to fighting the good fight.

Its just their nature.

Poor bastards.

Better them than me.

I never developed the taste for helping.

Selfish, rude and self centered.

Yeah, I know.

At least I am honest about it.

Hell, I could be a Do Gooder and waste everyones time.

So, now I have a broken Crusader on my hands.

Get some rest sweetie, you are going to need it.

It may take a few weeks, but you know that old itch will rear its ugly head eventually.

And God help you then, he’ll have to.

Because you’ll be too busy helping everyone else.



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Posted by on May 16, 2012 in Uncategorized


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