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Your kids are harshing my day.

14 May

Why would you bring a 4 year old to a PG 13 film?

I am not worried about your kid.

I am worried about my enjoyment of the movie because you are ‘tarded enough to not only bring her, but to not shut her up when she begins singing during the film.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved that period of time when my kids were that age.

But “The wheels on the bus” sucked ass then and it sucks more ass now.

Especially when your little warg sings it.

I don’t like other peoples kids, I have made that plain.

But now your kid and by extension, you, are messing with my enjoyment of a film I have waited a long time to see.

Since I was 12.

Heres why.

Comic books.

I began reading them when I was about 8 or so.

And they were awesome.

So, when they began making superhero movies, my world was rocked.

Even the movies that didn’t to so well.

Top 5 superhero films that would have sucked, had they not been superhero films.

  • Batman & Robin (1997) (Creepy little film that would have been gay soft core were it not for Alicia Silverstone dressed in a tight outfit as Batgirl.
  • Jonah Hex (2010) (This WAS soft core porn with a scanty clad Megan Fox. Nipples like little rocks just remembering.)
  • Steel. (1997) (Shaq didn’t even read the script before he signed for this one. He really should have first.)
  • Supergirl (1984) (The fact that Helen Slater was a stunning piece of ass is the only thing that saved this film school freshman project.)
  • Captain America (1990) (Not the recent one, the 1990 version with Matt Salinger. The critics wanted this one banned everywhere but Japan.)

These films sucked ass for everyone but me.

And really, I was not alone.

Being an adult comic book fan is a lot like being in the closet.

You hide it as long as you can, and if someone outs you, its pretty embarrassing.

The better films had a lot more ROCK to them, and, bigger budgets.

Here are my own top five, in order of how much I enjoyed them.

  • The Avengers (2012) (Just saw it today with the tarded woman and her big headed child. Even with the distractions.)
  • Spider man. (2002) (Toby Maguire as Peter Parker was spot on and awesome.)
  • X-men (2000) (This was pure crack for the comic book fans. Also, Halle Berry and Famke Janssen were pure sex on a stick in leather outfits.)
  • Iron Man (2008) (Robert Downy Jr. is the only actor that could do this role decently.)
  • Dark Knight (2008) (Dark and twisted, possibly the only Batman film that had that element of the comic book. Plus Heath Ledger died soon after and he was incredible.)

I loved the films, good and bad, and I think everyone should see them, they send a good message to people.

Just leave your noisy offspring at home.

I’m saying please. (But my eyes are saying, bite me.)

 

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2 Comments

Posted by on May 14, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

2 responses to “Your kids are harshing my day.

  1. MR

    May 14, 2012 at 10:08 am

    Come on Will you should of at least given her the stink eye which maybe would have prompted her to shut up for a short time. The second stink eye with the squinting of the eyes to show you really mean shut up or else…

     
    • Bittermac

      May 14, 2012 at 10:48 am

      All of this was with major stink eye action and some rude muttering. This rotten bitch was impervious.

       

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