Your friends should tell you, you look slutty.

09 May

She will whip your ass, trust me.

Here is the visual.

Tall, maybe 6’2 in stiletto boots, going up to her knees.

With just a tantalizing hint of white skin before the leather hides all.

Long hair, loose to the middle of her back.

Knee length leather coat.

And this is what’s ahead of me on the escalator.

Black stilletos and possibly nothing under the coat, I have no way of knowing.

My mind makes it so much worse than it probably is.

The dominatrix of the mall.

I think I am in love.

Its a little bit of a severe look for the mall, don’t you think?

The mall is crowded as hell, so following this woman is not as obvious as it would be any other time.

She is sauntering around, not a care in the world.

And she is popular with the men.

I counted the number of head whips that went on as she walked the second floor of the mall and lost count at 72.

Old men, young men, and several women with mullets.

As she turned to look across the balcony at a store, I see she is wearing sunglasses, mirrored and expensive.

This is a well monied female.

What the hell is she doing in the mall?

She should be stiff arming Julia Roberts the fuck out of her way on Rodeo.

Talk about a hot mystery.

Up the next escalator to the third floor, still at a leisurely pace.

And then, the disappointing moment.

A pause in front of a store, where I got a good look at her face.

I really wanted her to be a stunning woman, I really did.

However, the last time I saw that much make up on one person, the circus was in town.

Make up should be applied lightly, with a brush.

Not trowled on with a spatula.

The mysterious form fitting coat from the back, is slightly open in the front, revealing some sort of lime green top.

Seriously, honey?

I am so disappointed.

And my former erection may never forgive me.

Such is life.

I know this woman can see herself, malls are sloppy with mirrored surfaces.

Wouldn’t someone say something?

Even if it was a slightly rude friend, they could have said something.

About halfway across the mall, she pulls into a store that wants to be Victoria’s Secret.

But Victoria in a cheaper slutty mall mode.

Passing by, I see her go behind the counter, taking off her leather coat.

Now it gets worse.

The lime green top ends just an inch or two shy of black booty shorts.


Not a lot, just enough to crush a dream.

I wander out of the mall and to my car, dejected and sad.

Some dreams should stay dreams.

They owe you that.

But, I am to blame.

Look deeper at anything and you are liable to find the flaws.

Better to have left early and taken the dream with me.

And I could have kept that one forever.

Something about those boots…



Posted by on May 9, 2012 in Uncategorized


3 responses to “Your friends should tell you, you look slutty.

  1. Beach Mom

    May 9, 2012 at 6:53 am

    Next time we go out I’ll wear my Stiletto Boots and black leather long coat for you. I will leave out the muffin top and gobs of make-up so you can have your fantasy back. You crack me up.

    • Bittermac

      May 9, 2012 at 8:03 am

      Shameless sexual harassment. Make sure the boots are shiny.

  2. Rockstar

    May 14, 2012 at 10:45 pm

    Oh you are so so shallow… Besides, she was only 6′ 2″ in her stilettos, I’d be at least 6′ 5″, if not 6′ 6″ and no muffin top here, thank you divorce!!!
    (gotta look at the bright side, right???)


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s