Despite the somewhat vile nature of some of these blogs, I do have an appreciation of simple, old school, wholesome cute stuff.
I was walking across a parking lot, doing my best not to be hit by texting drivers, when I saw a young mother leaving a store with her two kids.
The kids both looked under 5 and mom was not out of her twenties.
She was doing it right, paying attention to her kids, holding their hands as they crossed the parking lot to their car.
Just as she got the back seat open and turned to load up the kids, the party started.
Both kids began doing a vigorous “Booty dance” and singing at the top of their lungs.
“WHOOP, THERE IT IS, WHOOP, THERE IT IS.”
Just as I was walking by.
Mom’s embarrassment was classic.
She was a one of the darker women I have seen in a while, but I could see her blush from 20 feet away.
It was awesome.
There is something sick from deriving so much pleasure from other people’s embarrassment.
Wholesome, yet twisted.
Like Sesame Street’s Elmo on a meth bender.
Theres a scary thought.
Till know, Jim Henson’s creation has been used for good.
But what if it turns against us?
It would be a subtle eroding of the innocent fabric of this country.
Probably start slow.
Oscar the grouch will begin slipping in the F-word here and there.
Miss Piggy will call Kermit the frog a “Faggot”.
I won’t even mention what will happen between Grover and a chicken, live during morning kiddy prime time.
Stuff like that.
And it would just go downhill from there.
From there, you go visit your grandmother and she’ll be high, listening to fresh new cuts from T Payne and Pitbull.
She’ll call you “Her Nigga” and won’t be making soup anymore.
Your dog will Occupy the bathroom in protest and you will not be able to take a shit without risking a bite to a private area.
You’re regretting getting the pitbull now, aren’t you?
Your job will stop paying you.
When you ask the human resources clerk where your paycheck is he’ll throw up his hands and laugh. “It’s all good, bro!”
Such is life.
And thats just from one beloved kids show making the conscious decision to turn on you.
And Jim Henson is no longer around to stop them.
I’m just saying.
And maybe they won’t.
But can you be sure?
And don’t get me started on Mr. Rogers.
All it would take is one messed up episode, someone putting it on Youtube, it goes viral and gets over a hundred million hits is one day, and God help us.
It will make “Two girls, one cup” look like “Weekend at Bernie’s.”
There is an entire generation out there, preprogrammed to go off at any time.
Like some sort of sleeper cell plot in a spy film.
Damn, how did we end up here?
This blog started out so wholesome, with a cute story about a woman and her kids, and ends up with Mr. Rogers run amok?
I’ll say it again.
Such is life.
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