I may be the whitest man in America, but I grew up in a half mexican part of town and I can hablo if I have to.
But I have never developed a love, or even a like for that matter, of Mariachi music.
I happened to be driving along, out running errands, just mentally spacing when I realized that Mariachi music was on the radio.
And since I hadn’t touched the radio since I got in the car, it has been on for awhile.
How did I not notice this for the last 15 minutes?
And the even weirder part of all this was, while I was fully aware of the fact that I would hate the Mariachi music in five minutes, right now, I was kind of enjoying it.
It was an odd bubble of time, where things I don’t like suddenly are ok.
Obamacare, Occuppy anything and chihuahuas.
And then it was over.
I changed the station.
And I was back to realizing that my premiums were going to go up hideously, out of work bums were going to cost a fortune to clean up after and little shaking rat dogs are creepy.
All was right with the world again.
And then I pulled up to the light.
When you hear a car pull up next to you, blaring loud country music, Taylor Swift I think, and you can hear the driver screeching along, a picture forms in your head.
Driving that car is a young, late teens maybe, white girl. Blonde. Little car, maybe a hybrid Prius her parents bought her for her birthday.
So, I casually turn to look.
And felt my jaw drop on its own.
Snoop dog is driving the Fast and the Furious street race car next to me.
And he was still singing Taylor Swift in a bit of a falsetto.
What the hell?
And then it hit me.
He is stuck in that bubble of time.
Better him than me.
As the light turned green, I sped off and my ADD kicked in.
It occurred to me that even though I am not a country fan I can name several stars.
Theres the uber blondes.
Taylor Swift, Kerry Underwood, and Miranda Lambert.
Same with opera.
Pavoratti, Placido Domingo, and Sarah Brightman.
And lets not forget Rap.
There was Snoop Dog that I just left at the light, Eminem (Single names are a little odd. Or maybe the people are a little odd. Or a lot. See also Cher.)
And whatever brand of shitty alternative man-hater music they play at Lillith Fair.
I can name someone from all of them, but not Mariachi.
And, I didn’t think it was possible, but Google does not list any famous Mariachi bands on first page.
Does that mean they don’t exist?
And sure, the whole “It’s all in Spanish” thing doesn’t help.
So maybe I don’t hablo as well as I thought.
Or maybe Mariachi music just sucks.
Is it possible to say that without sounding racist?
If I said it in Spanish.