And if they knew a damned thing, they’d be dangerous.

27 Apr

The Weather man needs to die.

I would be alright with the idea of an angry mob chasing the Weather guy on the news down the street with torches and farming implements.

I might even be so inclined to pick up a pitch fork and join in.

I am tired of being mind screwed by these snake-oil salesmen.

I am told to expect sun, I get clouds.

I am told to dress warm for the coming cold and its hot out.

I understand that its not an exact science, but at least get it close.

Someone is paying these ass-clowns good money, and in this economy.

Hell, fire the current Weather guy and hire some crazy homeless guy to guess at the weather.

Or have some wacked out shaman come in and roll the bones during prime time.

Can it be any worse?

They say even a broken clock is right 2 times a day.

Only if its not predicting  the time, then it can be wrong perpetually.

Thats when you throw the clock away and get a new one.

Most jobs involve guessing in one way or another, based on specific training or experience, but the Weather guy is a huckster from the old school.

And some of them don’t even keep up the pretense, this is the shameless brand of con man.

They give themselves names of major cities or weather conditions, like that establishes their credentials.

And no, I am not singling out Dallas Raines, or maybe I am.

And I know I am being rude about both his name and profession.

But this is the modern equivalent of being a carnival barker on prime time TV.

Perhaps a better method would be to pay them for their accuracy.

Guess wrong, you don’t eat tonight.

Accurately call a hurricane?

Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

(I look for excuses to use that phrase, by the way.)

But, to be realistic, very few other professions are held to any sort of accountability.

Take your stock broker.

You make money, he makes money.

You lose money, he makes money.

You get pissed and take your business to another generic, cookie cutter stoke broker, they both make money.

Maybe that is a bad example.

Not that its untrue, but the simple fact is, I don’t like stock brokers.

And yet, I wish I was one.

There is something admirable about that sort of money-driven, whore-like profession.

One of my many twists.

But, to take a quick skip back to the Weather guy for a second.

They remind me of a few of my mother’s hippy friends from when I was little.

They had all sorts of wacked out beliefs and persuits, that they took very seriously.

Crystals, pyramids, herbology, Tarot…etc.

Just to name a few.

And the would present it like it was the common truth, that everyone gets, and what is your problem.

They were, for the most part, full of shit then and are full of shit now.

I have it now, that’s the connection.

They always presented it like, “Look at how clever I am for doing this!”

Like they were waiting for a pat on the head.

Enter the Weather guy.

Why didn’t I see this before?

The Weather guy is a silly bohemian in a suit.

Glad we figured that out.

Feel free to go about your day now.



Leave a comment

Posted by on April 27, 2012 in Uncategorized


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s