I find that I hate my waitress and wish her ill.
I suppose that make me a bad person, but the fact remains that if you stand around with my drink on your tray, trying to eye-screw the married guys at the table across the room either to better your tip or in a valiant effort to become the “Other woman” Seek another line of work.
And don’t bitch when your tip is small enough to make a homeless guy whine.
There is a special look your average waitress gives you when you walk up and just take your drink off of her tray without saying anything, is priceless to say the least.
And yet, you don’t want to be that asshole that doesn’t leave a tip, so you do.
After all, my mother was a waitress, so I always tip more.
But will I be forced to tip every low-skilled waif that picks up an order pad just because Starbucks is not hiring?
I think not.
I would much rather selectively Shit-tip the slackers.
The word is not in Webster’s and you can’t Google it.
But it fits.
Besides, it bring a little exciting drama to the meal, like a little salt or an odd spice.
I think I have an odd quirk to my psychological make up that make me push others societal boundaries.
In layman’s terms, its called asshole.
And I am ok with that.
I have a prepared line to give her when she brings my drink, which is no doubt warm by now.
And just when I am ready to feed her that line, she bends at the waist, no knees involved.
And a foot of cleavage sits about 6 inches from my nose.
Game, set, and match.
Well played, miss.
It is purely sexest, but I have to say, it iis what it is.
Basic sexy is a solid play that is both strong and about a thousand years old.
She knows it and I had forgotten.
The fact that her tip will be generous is simply the way of the world.
So, I focus my dislike on the bartender, who no doubt served me a warm drink, setting up my favorite waitress for failure.
When it comes to the sexual politics of life, the rules are set in stone.
So I kind of think I may be fairly exempt from judgement here.
Whats the phrase, don’t hate the player, hate the game.
And what a game it is.
The longer the blog goes on, the lower on the scumbag totem pole I am getting.
I think I will quit while I am ahead.
The evening ended and I tipped well for good service.
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