Spam email is like getting the shits.
Its more annoying than anything else, and it sucks when someone else finds out.
I sometimes amuse myself and carefully read the spam email.
I don’t know how it shakes down in your Inbox, but in mine, the overwhelming winner is Porn spam.
Don’t get me wrong, I think Asian women are adorable.
However, Asian teenagers doing some of the most base things I have ever seen. (See also, 2 girls, 1 cup. Ew.)
To get it past the spam filters, the email often has a cut and paste from some sort of literature.
One of my favorites had a paragraph from Dante’s Inferno.
I found that intriguing. The link went to a beastiality website that I didn’t care for.
But I did re-read Inferno again, talk about a twist.
Next up are the emails for the pharmacies.
And Viagra is the coin of the realm.
That and Xanax.
Evidently I am stressed out and impotent.
They are just here to help, I am sure.
But my favorite spam are the ones from Africa.
I am the luckiest man alive when it comes to winning money, getting money.
It just kind of falls out of the sky for me.
In just one weeks time, I had the following happen.
- I won several lotteries. The UK International lottery, the Microsoft email lottery…etc.
- I had several separate groups of soldiers that found Saddam Hussein’s secret vault. They want to split the money with me, how cool it that.
- Several poor, lonely, dying women, all alone in the hospital and they want to leave me all of their millions with their deathbed request that I do good.
- An even baker’s dozen of lawyers have access to huge amounts of money have contacted me and want to split the cash with me.
The only thing any of these people want from me, the only thing that is standing between me and untold millions is one thing.
They want my bank info.
Seems like such a small thing.
And yet, even small children that read these emails know they are bullshit.
But someone must be falling for this shit.
They call them 419 Scams.
The 419 is the number of the Nigerian penal code that they prosecute the scammers under.
However, I don’t think they are prosecuting anyone over there, because I still get at least 20-30 a week.
And I don’t understand why they don’t spell check the damn things ahead of time.
Wouldn’t that make them seem a little more credible?
Like con men throughout the ages, they are slick and using the easiest method of separating a sucker from his dollar.
And with millions of emails being sent out, there is bound to be someone stupid enough to fall for this.
Cause that is the one constant in any con.
Someone has to fall for it.
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