Candy whores on the loose.

05 Apr

“This stupid candy is killing me.”

For a twelve year old, this is a dumb line.

For a woman in her early twenties, this is ridiculous.

Ah, twenty somethings, like a modern age Forrest Gump, without the wisdom.

I am in my usual seat. at my favorite legal crack house.

It is day 620 of Occupy Manhattan Beach Starbucks, I am addicted or dedicated, take your pick.

The table next to me has its own occupy going on.

Two early twenties girls are playing at being grown up.

It so cute, its like a little tea party.

They have on little business woman suits and everything.

And bitching about candy?

Evidently, there is a candy called Robin’s Eggs that only come out around Easter.

Don’t know, don’t care.

There is a lot of seasonal shit that I am unaware of.

But they are a big deal to the girls.

The following is a verbatim transcript:

“I have no willpower when it comes to these things.”

“Just stop eating them, seriously.”

“Hey, eating is as serious an addiction as Meth, don’t you read?”

Are you kidding me, you over indulgent dip-shit?

You poor, brain dead moron. You really do believe all the crap Oprah and Dr. Phil have shoveled down your throat, don’t you?

Where do I start?

First of all, candy is simply a poor snack choice and a lack of willpower.

If you overdo it, your thighs get thicker and you risk a cavity.

Meth, when overdone, can cost you your job, your family and your health.

It is an addiction so severe and overpowering, that it can cause the most demure of people to partake in absolutely obscene behaviour.

When was the last time you were outside of a Walgreens and someone asked you for Robin’s eggs?

“Get me some eggs, man, and I’ll suck your dick!”

Maybe thats a bit much. but the point needs to be made.

Doubt it, I’ve written worse.

And maybe I am focussing a little harshly on these girls, but obviously, no one else is.

Parents quit being parents awhile back and this is the result.

Back to the girls.

They are a symptom of what’s wrong with the next generation.

They tend to invent drama, really dumb shit, and add it to the real drama that happens in life.

So all of their spare time is taken up with all of this bullshit.

These are the same people that have Facebook posts that say things like “People are talking shit.”

Its Facebook, half of that shit doesn’t even exist in real life.

I know a timid girl that became a timid woman who routinely threatens to “Cut a bitch”, on Facebook.

Reality checks are in short supply, these days.

Because you do not have a strangle hold on maturity if your addiction issue is candy.

Whats next? Passing notes and trying to find out if “He” likes you?

What do you mean who?

If you don’t know, you haven’t been listening.

Shuh! (Teenage girl utterance of disgust.)

As if.




Posted by on April 5, 2012 in Uncategorized


2 responses to “Candy whores on the loose.

  1. Beach Mom

    April 5, 2012 at 8:07 am

    I do love Robin Eggs. I don’t buy them because I will eat the whole bag in one sitting. I was at a friend’s house the other day and she had some in a candy dish. I kept finding myself taking one and then another and another….
    I kept saying this will be my last one. The problem for me is they give me sores in my mouth and mess up my intestines; yet knowing this I still eat them. I hate to admit it but I know what the girl is talking about with those candies.

    • Bittermac

      September 19, 2012 at 1:08 pm

      I’m sorry, but that is pathetic.


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