Hit me again, Ike!

04 Apr

Yesterday, I wrote about how I hate the Craig’s List burn.

And just when I thought I was out, Craig’s List pulls me back in.

I got a new car from the list.

I even managed to play upon the ignorance of the seller and knock $500 off of what she wanted.

I don’t believe in playing fair.

As I have said before, I was a salesman for a long time.

And while I never sold my soul, I did entertain a few offers.

Back to the car.

Its nice, got a few quirks, but its nice.

A few tweeks and I have a car that can get me to and fro, along with the occasional long trip.

All with good gas milege.

Gas is more expensive than milk.

If this keeps up, the cat is going to start drinking regular.

And before you send me shitty emails, I don’t have a cat.

“This is Whisker’s and he needs a forever home, he was rescued because his previous owner fed him gasoline.”

Yeah, I’m making fun of it, what an asshole.

Back to Craig’s List.

I have a relationship with Craig’s List a lot like Ike and Tina Turner.

I get slapped around, figure I’ve enough, I’m through.

And here comes Craig’s List.

“Take me back baby! You know I didn’t mean it!”

And I get sucked back in.


But the car is pretty sweet.

The only problem in the long run is that it keeps me going to Craig’s List.

Like any serious drug addiction, its tough to just walk away.

I need a twelve step program to get me off of it.

Its healthy to admit I have a problem.

Hello, my name is Will, and I surf Craig’s List.

Hi Will.

Step one, I admit that I am powerless over Craig’s List, and it is making my life unmanageable.

Step two, I believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity. (Ebay maybe?)

Do you see where I am going with this?

One of the final steps involves contacting everyone I have ever burned by not showing up from Craig’s List.

The is a lot more to the steps that I could make a LOT of fun of, but the Almighty is mentioned quite a bit and I argue enough with my mother as it is.

She’ll laugh at my antics to a certain point, but I try not to push it.

The funny thing is that, I texted questions to several people this morning.

Two have yet to respond to the questions.

Fine, I expect that.

3 responded and I bought the car from one of them.

The second one answered a few questions, but the responses gave me the impression that I was bothering them.

The third one is an interesting fish.

He has so far lowered his price several times, despite the fact that I didn’t ask for it.

Then he texted me a few reasons why I may not be biting on the car, again, I never said anything.

He also offered several reasons why I should buy the car.

One of the reasons involved his roomate being a flake and his need for money.

He just texted me about a half hour ago and lowered the price several hundred more.

Meth is a horrible drug and what it does to people is hideous.

I hope no one buys his car, so when he sobers up, he still has a car.

How do I know meth is involved?

I don’t.

I’m guessing, but I am remarkably accurate when I begin guessing about shit I don’t know.

Plus, its Craig’s list.

I bet If I text him enough I can get him under $100.

Damn you, Craig’s List.




Posted by on April 4, 2012 in Uncategorized


2 responses to “Hit me again, Ike!

  1. cr

    April 4, 2012 at 9:06 am

    my kids need a car – keep working him and call me later.

  2. LaVicki

    April 4, 2012 at 2:44 pm

    bwahahahah… Joey thinks I am mean when it comes to Craigs List.. I had a dog kennel that he said was worth 100 bucks.. I listed it at $190 – less than a week later when a guy came to pick it up he handed me 9 20’s and said “$180” enough.. I said SURE!! I gave Joey the hundred and kept the 80 for myself!


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