Trouble in River City

15 Mar

I am not a psychic.

I never claimed to be.

But I have learned to trust my instincts.

I had just parked my car in the underground bunker when I saw someone just moving out of sight on the escalator.

The game is afoot!

I am playing chase now.

Why? No clue. Just because.

And I am unsure why.

Regular life is bad enough without going out of my way to look for trouble.

I got to the top of the escalator and see the woman across the open area between restaurant’s.

She is walking slowly and talking on her phone.

Nice sun dress, hair up in a bun, covered with a hat.

The overall effect is of money.

The route she is going, if Starbuck’s or that area is her destination, has her going straight out of the quad and making a right.

So I make a quick right off of the escalator and then a quick left on the side street.

I slow as I approach the corner.

I pull out my ereader for cover.

My timing is impeccable, and she reaches the corner a few strides ahead of me.

I sneak a peak and almost trip.

My instincts scare the crap out of me at times.

Mrs. Evil Couple.

It has been too long.

For those who don’t know, the Evil Couple are the reason this blog was started. She is vile and says hideous things to him. He is cruel and turns on her without warning.

A car rolls thru the crosswalk and we make our way across.

She is listening to something the person on the phone is saying.

Finally she speaks, and I immediately have questions.

“The twins finish school and then we fly out Friday night.”

The Russian accent brings it all back.

But where are we going?

I hate that I can’t ask questions.

She sighs loudly.

“Who knows? He and his lawyer are having too much fun being assholes.”


I have a sinking feeling in my gut.

There is trouble in River city.

“They will have to eventually. Once we file the divorce, they have to respond.”

And then the floor fell out.


I realize that I have always held various opinions of why Mr. and Mrs. Evil Couple stay together, everything from mind blowing sex, to Russian mob coercion, to a prolonged hostage drama.

But fading away in your average petty divorce?

And then she walked in the Coffee Bean.

I watched her go thru the door and get in line.

I thought about following, there had to be more to this.

But some things you have to let go of.

I let her go.

As I walked towards Starbucks, I saw a guy in a suit standing next to a guy with a dog.

The opposing light turned yellow, and the dog lifted his leg and pissed on the leg of the guy in the suit.

I walked past them, smiling as they shouted at each other on the corner.

Life goes on.




Posted by on March 15, 2012 in Uncategorized


4 responses to “Trouble in River City

  1. cr

    March 15, 2012 at 9:14 am

    I guess that finally wraps up the Evil Couple Saga! At least they provided you with some direction in life Mr. Bittermac. Consider yourself one of their offspring. The big brother to the soon to be evil twins!

    • Bittermac

      March 15, 2012 at 10:15 am

      And no family BBQ’s to rehash good times! I feel so incomplete.

  2. Tranny Hooker

    March 15, 2012 at 9:28 am

    Aw…I willl miss them both. Unbeknownst to them, they have made many people very happy by inspiring you to write about their wretched, miserable little lives.

    …they have served their purpose.

    • Bittermac

      March 15, 2012 at 10:16 am

      This is like the end of the wizard of Oz. I am Dorothy, just waking up. “And you were there, CR. And you, Beachmom. And Tranny Hooker? I missed you most of all.”


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