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I hab a code.

13 Mar

As a general rule, being sick sucks.

I woke up a little feverish and congested.

The medicine cabinet was either looted by junkies, or I ran out of cold medicine and never replaced it.

Either way, I need something to take the sinus throb out of my head.

And discovered a curious thing.

There are a lot more pharmacies than there used to be.

When I was little, you had to travel either to Thrifties, (represent bitches!) or a little hole in the wall pharmacy up the street.

But that was it for miles.

Now days, there are more pharmacies than liquor stores.

I’m not sure how, but that is wrong.

And as a product of this over saturation, there is a pharmacy about an eigth of a mile away.

I would mention their name, but as they refuse to support this blog, they are going nameless.

The first thing you notice when you enter the store is the muzak.

Muzak is that delightful practice of taking enjoyable music and gutting it, removing its soul and then letting it ooze out of the speakers, existing in the background like an audio form of zombie.

Slow and ugly, and might kill you if you let it.

The floor is always white speckled tile.

I could be wrong, but I believe that all of this tile is mandated by law.

It is antiseptic and clean and reminds me of the hallways in hospitals.

Its so you don’t linger.

Do your business and get out.

Same attitude as hookers, but without that slutty attractive aspect.

Plus, cold medicine has the added benefits of being both cheaper and incapable of giving you the clap.

Although, who knows, the side effects these days are a bitch.

I read somewhere, without being racist, that all pharmacy technicians are Asian.

Ok, so it is racist, but I still read it, just the same.

That was the thought that occurred to me as I came thru the door.

I have such a grand wit at times.

I chuckled and went back near the pharmacy counter.

And realized that all of the pharmacy techs were indeed Asian.

Go figure.

In the world of cold medicine, there are roughly a hundred different flavors and brands.

I checked a bakers dozen of middle of the road cold medicines and found out an interesting fact.

They all have the exact same ingredients.

At first I thought this was impossible.

And then I realized that variety is the spice of life.

(Weak, but its all I got.)

Tacos are the same.

Tortilla, meat, sometimes beans, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, and cheese.

Burritos?

Tortilla, meat, sometimes beans, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, and cheese.

Tostada?

Tortilla, meat, sometimes beans, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, and cheese.

Do you see what I’m getting at?

So, all that is left is to find the burrito of cold medicines.

Because I’ve never really been a tostada guy.

And the nice part is, there is a very slim chance the cold medicine will give me the shits.

Or the clap.

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Posted by on March 13, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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