Like its that easy!

07 Mar

Picture this.

A guy walks up to a woman he doesn’t know at a gas station.

This is an average guy, nothing special.

Hint of a gut and might be thinning on top, despite being in his late 20’s.

If bland had a cousin visiting from out of town, he is it.

The woman, just for the record, is pretty.

Not hot, but pretty.

Like the prettiest 20-something in the office.

Now, one would assume that if he were to just out of the blue, ask her out in the AM/PM line waiting to pay for gas, that she would shoot his ass down like a Japanese Zero during the battle of Midway.

(Been watching the History Channel, deal with it.)

And for that very reason, the overwhelming majority of men would not just ask a woman out without at least finding out her name first.

Not this guy.

I worked with him for 6 months.

During that time, I saw him ask out about 400-500 women.

And he didn’t even have game!

Here was his standard pick up line.

Let’s say the cashier at Taco Bell is cute.

Or not, he doesn’t seem to care.

“Welcome to Taco Bell, would you like to try a Chalupa?”

“Sure, let me have two of those with a large coke.”

“That will be $4.97”

“Here you go, hey what time do you get off work? How about going out for a steak dinner?”

And the son of a bitch had a date every night.

Didn’t matter if it was the fast food cashier or a visiting senator, as long as she was female.

It was the most maddening, baffling and unbelievable thing I have ever seen.

We did building inspection for the state.

So we spent our days in different locations, coming into contact with different women.

This was his dating pool.

At he did not age discriminate.

He and I were the same age, and he dated a woman my mothers age for a few weeks.

I once saw him approach a table of three beautiful women in a restaurant.

He introduced himself, apoligized for interrupting their conversation and asked the hot blonde on the left out.

She said no.

It was kind of a rude no, too.

He didn’t miss a beat, he turned to the stunning dirty blonde on the right, and asked her out in under 10 words.

She actually giggled the no.

He smiled and focused on the stripper-like redhead in the middle.

Leaning in, he asked her out with a huge smile on his face.

And she said yes.

It was as amazing as it was frightening to see.

I once questioned him as to why he asked so many women out.

He was almost confused by the question.

He shrugged his shoulders and said a truth so basic, it made you stop and think.

“I like to go out. You ask enough women out, someone will say yes.”

I would argue that, but as I said, the man had a date every night.

I started to do the math, on that.

How could he afford that.

So I asked him.

At that point, I figured there was nothing he could say that would shock me.

And yet he did.

He said, on the way to the restaurant, he would broker the deal that they go dutch treat, each paying for themselves.

And I have no idea how you pull this one off without getting maced but he said he had yet to have someone be pissed.

His defense if they started to go down that road?

“I don’t even know you. I figured we can go out and get to know each other, without feeling obligated.”

Son of a bitch that is smooth.

You may be asking why am I bringing up some odd guy I used to work with years ago, even if he was interesting?

Because I ran into him the other day.

Him and his wife.

And she was stunning.

Life is a twisted thing at times.



Posted by on March 7, 2012 in Uncategorized


6 responses to “Like its that easy!

  1. Beach Mom

    March 7, 2012 at 7:27 am

    At least he didn’t tell you he got the woman to pay for his dinner.

    • Bittermac

      March 7, 2012 at 7:54 am

      It wouldn’t have shocked me.

  2. Scott

    March 7, 2012 at 11:02 am

    I have heard about the same technique, but I think it something I would not have the gumption for. For the gentleman who was able to pull it off. Good for him. I guess if you ask enough women out, one is bound to say “yes.”

    • Bittermac

      March 7, 2012 at 11:17 am

      Just gotta deal with a lot of no’s.

  3. thomas camoin

    March 7, 2012 at 1:25 pm

    I think this is your best one yet! fucking loved it, especially the part with three women at the same table, clasic.

    • Bittermac

      March 8, 2012 at 10:51 am

      It was a shock from the past, I had all but forgotten about him.


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