My car is invisible

06 Mar

I am beginning to think my car is invisible.

To the police, that is.

I recently got a new car.

It looks nice, drives well and gets good mileage.

But I have noticed a different attitude from the law enforcement community.

It used to be that I would be out with my old car and I would get a cop car behind me.

You could always see them sticking to my ass like a 5 year old’s underwear at Neverland sleepover.

(Shitty comment of the week nominee.)

In the rear view mirror, I would see them, radio in hand, calling it in.

A few minutes later, they would pull up next to me, scowling.

The disappointment at not having something to bust me on evident on their face.

Reluctantly, they would drive off.

In the new car?

I had a cop behind me for two seconds this morning.

Then he pulled up next to me and could see the two officers laughing and talking.

The passenger seat cop glanced my way and smiled.

He could have cared less.

They drove off, laughing like school boys.


It will be nice to have a stealth mobile for once.

Previously, I have always had the car that attracted way too much police attention.

Let’s see.

There was the old Mercury that had black smoke permanently coming out of the exhaust pipe.

This was back before that sort of thing was illegal or thought of as wrong.

But it held the attention of anyone with a badge, thats for sure.

And, of course, my behavior did not help.

I can remember, somewhat hazily, being pulled out thru the window by a pissed law enforcement officer.

At which point, I was allegedly smacked on the side of the head.

Most people would screech “Police brutality”.

I would talk about my civil rights and such, but I can’t back that up.

Because, unfortunately, it was well deserved.

And yet, I am pro cop.

Funny how that works.

I don’t think I would have made a good cop.

I just don’t have that kind of patience.

I wouldn’t make it a year without some sort of atrocity.

And thats never a good thing.

Actually, I kind of miss those days.

Less crime because you did not want to piss off the boys in blue.

Bad for your health.

Plus, they’re armed.

I live a much safer life now.

As long as the cops aren’t reading the blog.




Posted by on March 6, 2012 in Uncategorized


2 responses to “My car is invisible

  1. LaVicki

    March 6, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    Im getting paranoid!!!!!!!!!

    • Bittermac

      March 7, 2012 at 7:53 am

      You should try it from my end.


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