Dolphin shorts and varicose veins.

01 Mar

So, what’s hiding under those yoga pants?

Good question.

Here’s another one that is not as good.

What would possess a late 50’s woman to forgo yoga pants, which she looks good in, for dolphin shorts, which shows her varicose veins?

Its one of those mornings at Starbucks.

The place is full of MMF’s.

MMF is an insulting little term that stands for “Manhattan Money Frau.”

They are the pampered women of privilege.

Most are nice to look at.

Some have hit the wall and refuse to acknowledge it.

And they really need to.

Whats the matter with getting older, anyway?

One of the MMF’s, maybe the mother of an MMF, anyway this old broad that I see at Starbucks on a regular basis, has here lips plumped every month.

Which means she spends 1 week out of the month looking like a duck.

At here age, I am willing to bet she has gone thru the change and no longer gets her monthly “friend”.

Perhaps she missed having one awkward week every month.

The monthly “Friend” is now the monthly “Duck”.

And this morning, she has made another little personal style faux pas.

She is a thin woman, either from diet, or exersize.

Although, given her use of surgery to alter her looks, perhaps its diet pills, liposuction, and/or vomiting.

Either way, thin.

In yoga pants, it looks ok.

She lacks an ass, but lets not nitpick.

However, today, she has opted for dolphin shorts.

And it is not a good look for her.

The yoga pants were like a fresh coat of paint on a crappy old house.

Made it look nice, but lets not look further.

I remember dolphin short from high school.

Nothing looked hotter back then than a 17 year old cheerleader in dolphin shorts.

But late 50’s/early 60’s MMF’s?

Not so much.

You can do yoga all you like, some things will never change.

Well, like aging.

We’re all gonna die someday, granny.

But I don’t think she would appreciate it if I told her that.

Maybe I will just keep that to myself.

I am concerned with others feelings.

Guys on the other hand, and the ladies with piss and moan over this, age better.

Let me explain.

Its not that men look better as they age, it just for the simple fact that they don’t care.

Men have more of a tendency to accept age and try to work with it.

Most women spend their later years trying to regain the looks they had in their 20’s.

Its unfair, but we all judge the sexes differently.

It sucks, but it is what it is.

Maybe the kindest thing anyone could do for the old lady in the dolphin shorts is to tell her that she is going to die, and none of the obsessive stuff she is doing is going to mean anything in the long run.

Not that she would believe it.

She has entirely too much time and money invested in chases her youth.

And that is a marathon that you never get to win.

You just die.




Posted by on March 1, 2012 in Uncategorized


2 responses to “Dolphin shorts and varicose veins.

  1. LaVicki

    March 5, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    For some reason, being the egocentrically person I am, I think this has something to do with me disclosing to you that I had botox done last week… which, by the way, I look SMASHINGLY younger!

    • Bittermac

      March 7, 2012 at 7:51 am

      “Your so vain…..I bet you think this blog is about you……..”


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