Washington versus Lincoln.

21 Feb

Washington hated Lincoln.

Actually, they never met.

But I bet they wouldn’t get along.

Washington was kind of that, “Knows everyone, big man on campus type.”

Lincoln was one of those serious guys that seemed to hang on to stress.

But they both seemed to impress the hell out of everyone, didn’t they?

Washington was the face of the new nation.

Tough gig, but he seemed to pull it off.

He was a bit of an odd one.

By the time he took office, he had no teeth left in his head.

And one of his plans for assaulting the British around 1775-1776 involved a company of soldiers with skates on, skating across a frozen section of Boston Harbor.

They didn’t do it, but it showed he was a bit out there.

Lincoln on the other hand had a serious wart on his face.

I think that made him an over achiever.

Taught himself to read, but not how to dodge bullets.

Freed the slaves, which was a fairly noble act.

But his original plan was to send them back to Africa.

So he did the right hing for the wrong reason.

Either way, it was still the right thing.

Life is like that.

Every now and then, we end up doing something bordering on noble, but usually for selfish reasons.

And thats ok.

Nobody likes to say it, but the end usually justifies the means by default.

Worked for Lincoln, which is a pretty good example.

If I was president, I probably wouldn’t free anyone.

I’m not racist, I’m just not that motivated.

I would probably fall behind in my paperwork and accidentally enslave someone else.

That would be my luck.

I wouldn’t even get to enjoy the White House, you know, Clinton style with the interns, before I became hated.

Protest marches, news and tv articles, and you know there would be rude Youtube videos with my voice dubbed over.

And I don’t need that kind of hassle.

Its just as well, I am too short to be president.

That doesn’t look good on a podium.

Most presidents are tall, that seems unfair.

But Gary Coleman would have mad a crappy president.

I do think I could strike that Washing crossing the Potomac pose without falling out of the boat.

And that has to count for something.

In the end, I think there should be a fair amount of hoopla made over those two Presidents.

Even beyond being on the money we handle everyday.

And maybe being reminded of their actions is a good thing on a daily basis.

They were the guys stuck holding the sticky stick when the shit went down, and they didn’t flinch.

And that not only counts for something.

That counts for everything.



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Posted by on February 21, 2012 in Uncategorized


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