Gilligan’s Starbucks

30 Jan

I am a fan of Starbucks, we all know this.

And there are usually a few common denominators when it comes to the Starbucks staff.

  • The manager are usually all men. While female managers do exist, 90-95% of the time, its a man.
  • The girls are usually hot. And I said girls, because I meant girls. I have never seen a woman over the age of 40 working in a Starbucks.
  • Its a well run place. Even the Starbucks in the middle of nowhere has competent staff. Not sure how they pull that one off.

I am in Oxnard this weekend, camping at a state park on the coast.

The need for coffee has driven me into the city for a fix.

With the aid of the Iphone, I have found one in old town Oxnard, less than a mile from huge strawberry fields.

First off, the place is huge.

I don’t know that I have ever seen a Starbucks this large.

Second, I might be the only one in the building speaking English.

As I mentioned, there are huge strawberry fields nearby, and the pickers like coffee too, it seems.

Don’t we all.

But, more so than the clientele or the locale of this particular Starbucks, its the crew running it that stands out.

This might be the most incompetent pack of bastards I have ever seen.

Starting with the cashier.

He most definitely did not take his ritalin this morning.

Like a human humming bird, he flits back and forth, doing five things at once, all while talking over each and every customer he deals with.

When he gets to me, I am asked three times what I would like.

I try to answer three times.

The first time, he interrupts to ask if I would like a fresh pastry.

I would, but yours are not.

The second time, I had just started to say what I wanted and he takes off, into the sitting area and makes change with someone that was not in line.

The third time, he had just come back from making change, blurted out, “What can I get you?” Then took off for the back room to get something.

In the end, the barrista took my order.

And, as for the barrista, he was doing one to two things, then reading out of a barrista book for a second.

Trial by fire, it would seem, learning on the job.

Nothing wrong with that, but I will still yell if they screw up my drink.

And finally, the prep guy in the back is an extra from an old Disney movie.

He was putting squirts of something into a cup, put in some ice and then dropped the whole thing on the floor.

He got up, made the decision to clean up after prepping the drink he just dropped, and began to make it again.

He got it on the blender and turned it on.

And then slipped and fell on the floor.

Also, the blender shield was not down, and the lid of the blender was not securely on.

The second he hit the floor, the blender exploded.

I left.

They can keep my drink, I don’t need it that bad.


Posted by on January 30, 2012 in Uncategorized


4 responses to “Gilligan’s Starbucks

  1. Diane mcKinley

    January 30, 2012 at 7:42 am

    I am still laughing! Good story.

    • Bittermac

      January 31, 2012 at 6:59 pm

      Thank you.

  2. LaVicki

    January 30, 2012 at 10:26 pm


    • Bittermac

      January 31, 2012 at 7:00 pm

      It was a shaky, nerve wracking walk, but still a walk.


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