In order to explain this, I need to be a sexist pig for a minute.
We’ve met, right?
I realize that, for medical reasons, breast reduction surgery is necessary.
But it is just so sad.
Like a clown died, or a little bit of sunlight has left the world.
The guys will laugh at this, and unless I miss my guess, a few of the ladies out there are seething and making that face my ex-wife used to make.
And I’m good with that.
And I realize that any woman you ask will tell you that it is no ones business but the woman herself what she does with her breasts.
While I don’t necessarily disagree with that, I still think I should get a say in all of this.
Its like when a performer is preparing for their show.
Yes, its their art, do with it what they like.
But don’t forget about your audience.
And breasts are like giving money for a gift.
As long as there is enough, everyone is happy.
And before you start, penis’s are not the same.
And I am not going down that sad, “Its not the size of the boat, its the motion of the ocean” route.
However, I am going down the “Women are not the same kind of scumbag as guys are.”
And thats an entirely different road.
And yes, there are some women out there that go after the guys with the porn penis.
They are called “Size Queens”.
I knew a girl in high school who dated a guy a couple of times and then slept with him.
Turns out he was a horse.
She said he bruised her insides and she swore never to go out with him again.
However, unless I kick you in the shins, I am not bruising anyone.
But, other than being a lifelong devotee of the breast, what do I really know about how women feel about them and their size?
I decided to do some field research, and managed to corner several lady friends at a recent outing.
The question I asked was, “How do you feel about breast size?”
3 told me, in various phrasings, to go screw myself.
So flashing me is out of the question, I suppose?
2 laughed, and one reversed her position on the subject and flashed me.
And then answered that she had never thought about breast size.
As she had always been a d-cup, she had never had an issue other than a boy that teased her about her breast size in 6th grade.
She was a D-cup at age 12?
Kids today, I swear.
The other two ladies I quizzed had boob jobs and said they did it because they were flat as boards during high school and they hated it.
I am paraphrasing there, but thats more or less what they said.
There are those that talk poorly about boob jobs.
Not like the real thing is it?
No, won’t sag like original equipment will.
Besides, its women who have never had boob jobs that say that.
And the women with the boob jobs say the opposite.
So who’s right?
They both are.
Its all good.