“Your mother is a rotten bitch!”
This line, all by itself, it a great one as far as shitty argument lines go.
When it is hissed in a stage whisper by a pissed off, over monied woman yanking on her husband arm as she says it, it becomes gold in my book.
I am not even in Starbucks at this point.
I had just left the parking garage slash underground bunker that I park in and was heading to work.
Just minding my own business.
Alright, I will call bullshit on that one myself.
I NEVER mind my own.
Anyway, I had just left the parking garage and was prowling around like a vagrant that lives on gossip, when I got to the light at the corner.
There was already a couple there.
She is wearing a coat that is as wildly expensive as it is ugly.
He is in a dark suit.
A well dressed, well to do couple.
And then she exploded.
I froze in my tracks and just stared in awe.
This was reminiscent of my favorite Evil Couple.
Except that there is nothing you could do to this woman to make her hot.
And he is a player of the game as well.
With a polished move he yanks his arm away without making a big motion.
Not his first rodeo.
“She’s not a God-damned fan of YOURS either!”
He does the stage whisper-hiss too.
This is like candy.
Why are these two still together?
Honestly, if it degenerates down to shitting on each other in public, call the game a draw, you both lost.
I once saw a comic who said his parents stayed together for his sake.
His punch line was that evidently it is a good child rearing environment for the child to see mom and dad get in a slap fight every week.
Funny line, also tragic.
I’m divorced and went thru a pretty shitty divorce, but it never got down to that level.
And for that, I am grateful.
I have friends who tell horror stories about their divorce.
Hell the first blog on this site is about an asshole discussing how is going to screw over his wife in the divorce.
The kids are young, they’ll get over it.
And then I look at this miserable couple in front of me and try to figure out where the hell they went wrong.
And whats with the whisper-hissing?
If anything, it only makes it better entertainment.
For me, that is.
They found a severed head near the Hollywood sign the other day.
And several other body parts in the days that followed.
I don’t think they’ve announced whether its a man or a woman.
But I bet they were not single at the time of death.
This is what you call the Bad Relationship End Game.
This is probably where it goes when you get sick of whisper-hissing in public.
Or like that woman in the news awhile back.
In the middle of a divorce, she invited her soon to be ex over and cooked him dinner.
She drugged him, and when he woke up, he was tied to the bed.
She cut off his penis with a 10 inch knife and threw it in the garbage disposal.
She called 911 and told the police he deserved it.
There is a WHOLE LOT of shitty arguing that went into that “He deserved it.”
I do hope they catch whoever left the severed head in Hollywood.
I bet they deserved it.
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