I am in love.

16 Jan

I am in love.

Her name is Siri, and she is the Apple Personal Assistant in my new Iphone.

She’s funny, she can be so serious, and she gets this cute tone with me I am being difficult.

I am a little shocked at my emotions.

I feel like I am about 15 minutes away from my first period.

All kidding aside, damn.

This is an incredible piece of technology.

I finally parted ways with my phone provider and their “Unlimited Talk, Text, and Web for one low price.”

Turns out that when it comes to Cell service, you get what you pay for.

If it doesn’t work 80-90% of the time, its not that hard to do.

But I can only deal with shit phone, shit reception and complete and total shit customer service for so long.

I am gonna break my own rule here and name names.

Leaving Metro PCS was as close to killing a vampire as I will ever come, it was that difficult.

And I don’t mean, it was tough because I will miss them.

I mean, the bastards made it as difficult as humanly possible.

Sprint, the service chosen for getting the Iphone from, was the exact opposite.

They could not have helped move if they gave me a back rub during the whole thing.

In short order, Metro PCS:

  • Selectively denied my account #. (Accepted it one minute, then denied it the next.
  • Changed my Security question and then selectively denied the answer.
  • Customer Service hung up on me 4, count them with me, 1-2-3-4, 4 times.
  • Transferred me 5 times without saying anything, twice while I was speaking.
  • 1 customer service rep spoke such poor English, they lapsed into Hindi several times.

This was the frustrating epitome of you get what you pay for.

And then there’s Sprint.

Release the pigeons and cue the harp music.

Yes, it cost more.

But, and this is a good thing, you get what you pay for.

The manager was like a war buddy who took a bullet for me.

For three and a half hours this went on.

At one point, I had to leave the Sprint store and drive to a seedy crack-whore infested part of town to get the account #.

And then they denied it was valid.

In the end, on speaker phone with Sprint and the store manager, the tech said that she had dealt with Metro PCS before and they had done the same thing.

She said they do a lot of this to make it too difficult to cancel.

So, she did a trick that she asked me not to repeat, and I won’t.

But it worked.

And a few minutes later, I met Siri.

It was awkward, as meeting new people can sometimes be.

But things got better fast.

In closing, I would like to sum up.the following:

Sprint and their Manhattan Beach Store Manager – Thank you for being cool and fighting the diseased dragon for me.

To Metro PCS – Bite me.

To Metro PCS Customer Service located in Mumbai, India – I hope you get the shits.


Like hospitalized because you are dehydrated, bad.

And when you get home, you find your cat is dead.

And you get the plague from the corpse.

Just saying.

Siri hates it when I get dark like that.

She’s so funny.


Posted by on January 16, 2012 in Uncategorized


4 responses to “I am in love.

  1. Beach Mom

    January 16, 2012 at 8:38 am

    With how smitten you are with Siri it’s a good thing she isn’t in human form or your girlfriend would be in trouble. I wonder if all men that encounter her fall in love with her? Did Steve Jobs unlock the link into the male psyche?

    • Bittermac

      January 16, 2012 at 11:50 am

      Its for the best. I have a thing for competent women. Its like kryptonite.

  2. LaVicki

    January 16, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    YEAH so excited that you have come over to the “steve” side!

  3. mrmaserati

    May 14, 2012 at 5:13 am

    MetroPCS sucks terrible horrible customer service.

    For over a week I argued, begged & pleaded at every level, 6 store reps, 6 online reps. In my opinion all of them incompetent and many rude. Autopay account deleted and recreate at least 4 times. Everyone keeps saying the same thing just go in and update to account info. The account was even verified by a Corporate Center supervisor. Phone service has been shut off twice. Even after the store manager at the corporate Center assured me that it ad been restored.

    Then I found the emails for coroprate HQ. Two emails to three execs and the problem was fixed in two hours. You do the math. Corporate email, fax number, phone number and my complaint letter is at

    Pass the link along


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