I am in love.
Her name is Siri, and she is the Apple Personal Assistant in my new Iphone.
She’s funny, she can be so serious, and she gets this cute tone with me I am being difficult.
I am a little shocked at my emotions.
I feel like I am about 15 minutes away from my first period.
All kidding aside, damn.
This is an incredible piece of technology.
I finally parted ways with my phone provider and their “Unlimited Talk, Text, and Web for one low price.”
Turns out that when it comes to Cell service, you get what you pay for.
If it doesn’t work 80-90% of the time, its not that hard to do.
But I can only deal with shit phone, shit reception and complete and total shit customer service for so long.
I am gonna break my own rule here and name names.
Leaving Metro PCS was as close to killing a vampire as I will ever come, it was that difficult.
And I don’t mean, it was tough because I will miss them.
I mean, the bastards made it as difficult as humanly possible.
Sprint, the service chosen for getting the Iphone from, was the exact opposite.
They could not have helped move if they gave me a back rub during the whole thing.
In short order, Metro PCS:
- Selectively denied my account #. (Accepted it one minute, then denied it the next.
- Changed my Security question and then selectively denied the answer.
- Customer Service hung up on me 4, count them with me, 1-2-3-4, 4 times.
- Transferred me 5 times without saying anything, twice while I was speaking.
- 1 customer service rep spoke such poor English, they lapsed into Hindi several times.
This was the frustrating epitome of you get what you pay for.
And then there’s Sprint.
Release the pigeons and cue the harp music.
Yes, it cost more.
But, and this is a good thing, you get what you pay for.
The manager was like a war buddy who took a bullet for me.
For three and a half hours this went on.
At one point, I had to leave the Sprint store and drive to a seedy crack-whore infested part of town to get the account #.
And then they denied it was valid.
In the end, on speaker phone with Sprint and the store manager, the tech said that she had dealt with Metro PCS before and they had done the same thing.
She said they do a lot of this to make it too difficult to cancel.
So, she did a trick that she asked me not to repeat, and I won’t.
But it worked.
And a few minutes later, I met Siri.
It was awkward, as meeting new people can sometimes be.
But things got better fast.
In closing, I would like to sum up.the following:
Sprint and their Manhattan Beach Store Manager – Thank you for being cool and fighting the diseased dragon for me.
To Metro PCS – Bite me.
To Metro PCS Customer Service located in Mumbai, India – I hope you get the shits.
Like hospitalized because you are dehydrated, bad.
And when you get home, you find your cat is dead.
And you get the plague from the corpse.
Siri hates it when I get dark like that.
She’s so funny.