The Phone War has ended.

10 Jan

I now have it on good authority that my phone is a piece of shit.

And the phone wars continue.

Here, in a nutshell, are the issues with my phone:

  • Bad reception where I used to get good. My reception turns to X at my desk, and it used to be 3 bars.
  • Spotty reception. When being held in one place, the reception will fluctuate between 1 bar, 3 bars, X, and back to 2 bars.
  • The battery drains too quickly. For the first four months with the phone, I was talking for 1-2 hours, texting 25+ times, surfing the web and checking email a dozen times or more all in the same day. For the last month, with 95% of the day spent of standby, the battery will not last more than 5 hours.

I have googled all of these items and found them to all be issues that are not normal.

So I travelled to the phone store.

As you walk thru the door, the Big Brother nature of the place, you are required to enter your name into a que on a terminal in order to get you taken care of when they are packed.

Except that there is no one in the place, but me and the counter help.

When I bypassed the terminal and tried to approach the empty counter, security stopped me.

“You gotta put your name in the que, so they’ll know who you are.”

He says this with all of the enthusiasm of a man who was dropped on his head as a child, right in the middle of his morning snack of lead paint chips.

“There is nobody here, why don’t I just tell them?”

The dead, lifeless stare I get back makes me wonder if zombies are real.

So, I went back to the terminal with all four of the counter help watching me enter my name.

And the motherfuckers let me stand there for 30 seconds before calling my name.

This was not going well.

“What can we do for your today?”

I outlined my three issues in as few words as possible.

And the answer I received was really interesting.

“Oh, yeah. All Android phones are like that.”

The interesting part was that it was totally wrong.

And this is the corporate store.

Now, either he thought I was that stupid, or he was that stupid.

But one of us is that stupid and I don’t think its me.

“You realize that your own website states that these are problems, not the norm, right?”

And then I had to explain what the norm meant.

Here are his explanations:

  • There are just some areas where you won’t get good reception. Evidently even if you got 3 bars for 4 months, and have been getting X for 1 month, this is the norm.
  • Spotty reception is normal. For example, he held his phone up next to mine. His had 4 bars, and mine had 3, 1, 2, X, 1, X again, then the phone shut itself off. He had no explanation for that other than to say, “That happens.”
  • Battery drain is something that all Android phones deal with. Lasting only 5 hours on standby is common. He claimed that he charged his phone twice a day. He also called to another counter guy and asked him how many times a day he charged his phone. The answer 3 times, was given.

Are you freakin’ kidding me?!?!

It was when I informed him that I would be leaving their store to go to one of the big names in cell service and give them my business when he said that for $10 I could get a new version of my current phone.

But, he cautioned, it would not fix any of the things I viewed as being a problem.

Blow me shit head.

I don’t mind if it is just the way things are, but don’t piss on my shoes and tell me its raining.

I never used to put much stock in that phrase, but now I get it.

The phone war is over.

I will go Friday and sign my life away for two years in order to have great reception and, God forgive me, and Iphone.

What has the world come to?


Posted by on January 10, 2012 in Uncategorized


4 responses to “The Phone War has ended.

  1. MR

    January 10, 2012 at 7:56 pm

    Dude once you get the iPhone you will see the light and you will soon be singing it’s praises. What version are you getting? Welcome to the real world of smart phones. I love mine, I just wish I had the latest 4S.

    • Bittermac

      January 10, 2012 at 9:05 pm

      I just wish it didn’t make me feel dirty.

  2. Beatrice

    February 14, 2012 at 7:58 am

    added to my google reader

    • Bittermac

      February 14, 2012 at 8:21 am

      I have it on mine too. But, since I write it, I don’t know if that counts as a follower.


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