RSS

Happy New Year, now get over it.

09 Jan

Once again, the Grinch is my prison bitch.

I mean seriously.

There is a damn good reason for it, too.

I am all for being a little extra cheerful and throwing a few “Merry Christmas and Happy New Year” at the general populous.

But only during the holidays.

Today is January 8th, and someone tossed a “Happy New Year” at me.

Seriously?

And in public, too.

I was leaving the mall and I held the door for some tard and his kids.

He throws me a big smile and a “Happy”, like I’m supposed to shit myself with joy because some asshole made my year.

Bite me.

It had the exact opposite effect.

For the next few hours, I went out of my way to be a bit of a dick.

I mean, it does come easy, but this made it even easier to step on over to the dark side.

I wish I lived in New York.

That is the one city that an acceptable reply to that statement would be “Fuck off.”

I once saw someone in New York give that as a reply to a total stranger’s “Have a nice day” on the subway.

Awesome.

I often dream of moving to a city that will embrace my inner asshole like and I a three armed GI Joe on the Isle of Misfit Toys.

And then Southern California has a week of weather like this.

Its early January and the sun has been a shining.

Like its summer or something.

Nice.

And yet, I am still in a bad mood.

Can’t figure out why.

It has been a good 2012 so far.

I have 3 out of 10 New Years Resolutions done, not telling which ones.

I got a Charlie Brown tshirt over the weekend.

I am still Irish. (Always a plus)

Nothing really to complain about.

Just really feel like a moody prick.

I try not to fight that sort of thing.

Bad karma and all.

Like, if I try not to be an ass, it will begin to build.

Until, finally, like the end of an extended period of constipation, it just explodes, only out of my mouth instead of my ass.

Which is a lot worse.

A bad case of exploding ass only offends the toilet and the next person to use the bathroom.

Explosive shit-mouth offends everyone within hearing range, and then everyone they tell.

If it goes viral, even people I have never met will call me an asshole.

Take this blog for instance.

People I don’t even know have called me all sorts of evil things.

Just for trying to be amusing.

And that ain’t right.

For some reason, I feel compelled to use pimp-speak.

Do you know what I’m saying?

Bitches be tripping.

Ok, that last line had nothing to do with this other than to make me laugh.

I look forward to my mother chewing my out for its inclusion.

Some of this is just for me.

But, we’ve met, right?

I mean, if I am ok with it, I naturally assume you all are as well.

Do you know what I’m saying?

Advertisements
 
Leave a comment

Posted by on January 9, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s