Zombie Hordes are invading Starbucks.
And before the guy who hated the “Werewolf vs. vampire” blog starts bitching, this is something different.
I am in a Starbucks I don’t normally frequent.
Getting out, seeing the world more, and trying to find new situations to blog about.
This is the same Starbucks that I was in a week ago when I heard the cashier utter that amazing phrase that I am still in awe of.
“I’ll cut a bitch.”
Unfortunately, she is not working today.
The cashier this evening seems to have real eyebrows and her hands lack homemade tattoos.
So I am looking for inspiration.
I am in line when I hear it.
“Dude, shoot the hostage and get out here!”
That is a bit of an attention grabber.
I look around, and there is a group at the big wooden table.
High school slash college boys.
Laptops all around, and if the logos on the laptops are an indicator, some pretty high end laptops at that.
Evidently, they are fighting world war three.
Some comments from the boys:
- “Just shoot the hostages before they escape!”
- “My coffee is cold, I am not killing anything.”
- “I have to go to the bathroom, but the basement is crawling with zombies.”
- “Dude, you are so greedy, I sometimes accidentally shoot you.”
- “I would blow up the church, but we gotta hide somewhere.”
Anywhere else in the world, the police would gang tackle you and you have a fifty fifty of having a cell in Guantanamo all to yourself.
You don’t have to be a Muslim, but it helps.
Back to the boys.
Just to finish going racial, the table is top heavy with Asian, with a sprinkling of Caucasian and one lone Indian kid.
The Starbucks staff is pretty oblivious to them, and that could be either apathy or they are here a lot.
You never know.
An interesting note is that the other patrons, and the place is fairly packed, are paying them no mind.
And if you think about it, why should they?
The boys are tech kids, really no threat to anyone.
They are waging war on the internet, not gang banging or getting high in any way I can see.
One of the boys is wearing a t-shirt that says “Cyber bullets don’t kill anyone.”
He’s got a point there.
Maybe these are the good kids of the modern age.
Kind of a new millenium Eddie Haskel.
(Leave it to Beaver, circa 1950)
For some reason, the phrase “Ward, I think you were a little hard on the beaver.”
Ok, cheap shot. Sue me.
And call me a freak, but June Cleaver was a milf.
But I will still make an argument that, pound for pound, Leave it to Beaver is the most innocent show in the history of television, with the possible exception of the Hobo Kelly show.
And I am not going to explain that show, mainly because I can’t.
But clowns freak me out.
As I get my laptop up and running, I realize that the boys are now background chatter.
“I hacked that guys head off and he is still chasing me!”
Didn’t even notice.
The battle of Good vs. Evil, with coffee.