Are you aware that Jerry Springer is still on the air?
I was not even aware that he was still alive.
Hasn’t he run out of trash in every race, creed and color yet?
If that show taught us anything, its that you should never consider your race above being completely embarrassing.
I went totally hetero racial during an unexpected episode recently.
A really dark black man had a secret to tell his wife of 10 years.
His wife had birthed three sons with him, by the way.
Oh, and while raising 3 kids, she worked her ass off and helped put him thru nursing school.
He has a little secret to tell her.
He’s leaving her for someone else.
But that is actually not the secret.
Here’s the secret.
He’s bisexual and leaving her for the white pastor of their local church.
Who is married and has kids too, by the way.
The only saving grace of the episode is the ass whipping she put on him and his boyfriend before they managed to pull her off.
I was hoping for permanent damage, but no such luck.
Even Jerry seemed horrified, so you know it was a kind of a sick high water mark.
Watching that show was like watching a train wreck in slow mo.
You can’t look away, but you are sickened by the scene unfolding in front of you.
At first, I thought it might be a gay bashing instinct, I can at least admit that.
But no, it wasn’t that.
Then I explored that it might be a racial thing.
Nope, not it either.
Then I finally hit on it.
Color and sexual orientation are not things that you can control.
Argue that one all you like, I still disagree.
Its the fact that marriage and kids are something that you decide to do.
In fact, its something that you swear an oath to love honor and cherish someone.
Both men admit that they are bisexual and enjoy women.
So it isn’t that the wives are not suitable anymore, their just not as much fun as cock.
And these boys evidently LOVE the cock.
I agree, they sure are.
There has to be some sort of cosmic water-boarding that needs to happen here.
The wife place kicking the one guy in the nuts just doesn’t seem like enough.
And I think Jerry is somehow responsible for this.
Not that he made this happen.
But he runs the show that enabled me to see it.
Its like farting in an elevator, you can’t help it, but you are still guilty.
And this stinks worse.
Kind of a psychic stink.
Or maybe the stink is the same.
Ass is ass after all.
And nothing beats ass, stink wise.
So lets look at the big list of guilt here:
The boys, for getting out of hand with the dick in the ass thing.
Extra special sin points for the pastor for preaching for years that sex with men is evil, when in fact he thinks its delightful.
The pumpkin shaped lady who was screaming at them. Not that she was wrong, but if you weigh that much, you do NOT were spandex. Just saying.
Jerry himself, for making this evil little love triangle available for public consumption.
Shame shame on you all.
The only people in this entire thing that deserve any sorts of good thoughts and wishes are the boys families.
Their kids are looking at serious couch time in the future to deal with this shit.
I can only hope that some sort of outlaw biker club kidnaps the boys and puts them thru some sort of crude backwoods ass kicking/waterboarding.
Call it a little Christmas gift for the masses.
And I still don’t think of waterboarding as torture.
Ho, ho, ho.