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How is Jerry Springer still alive and kicking?

14 Dec

Are you aware that Jerry Springer is still on the air?

I was not even aware that he was still alive.

Hasn’t he run out of trash in every race, creed and color yet?

If that show taught us anything, its that you should never consider your race above being completely embarrassing.

Trust me.

I went totally hetero racial during an unexpected episode recently.

A really dark black man had a secret to tell his wife of 10 years.

His wife had birthed three sons with him, by the way.

Oh, and while raising 3 kids, she worked her ass off and helped put him thru nursing school.

He has a little secret to tell her.

He’s leaving her for someone else.

But that is actually not the secret.

Here’s the secret.

He’s bisexual and leaving her for the white pastor of their local church.

Who is married and has kids too, by the way.

The only saving grace of the episode is the ass whipping she put on him and his boyfriend before they managed to pull her off.

Good.

I was hoping for permanent damage, but no such luck.

Even Jerry seemed horrified, so you know it was a kind of a sick high water mark.

Watching that show was like watching a train wreck in slow mo.

You can’t look away, but you are sickened by the scene unfolding in front of you.

At first, I thought it might be a gay bashing instinct, I can at least admit that.

But no, it wasn’t that.

Then I explored that it might be a racial thing.

Nope, not it either.

Then I finally hit on it.

Color and sexual orientation are not things that you can control.

Argue that one all you like, I still disagree.

Its the fact that marriage and kids are something that you decide to do.

In fact, its something that you swear an oath to love honor and cherish someone.

Both men admit that they are bisexual and enjoy women.

So it isn’t that the wives are not suitable anymore, their just not as much fun as cock.

And these boys evidently LOVE the cock.

Thats rude.

I agree, they sure are.

There has to be some sort of cosmic water-boarding that needs to happen here.

The wife place kicking the one guy in the nuts just doesn’t seem like enough.

And I think Jerry is somehow responsible for this.

Not that he made this happen.

But he runs the show that enabled me to see it.

Its like farting in an elevator, you can’t help it, but you are still guilty.

And this stinks worse.

Kind of a psychic stink.

Or maybe the stink is the same.

Ass is ass after all.

And nothing beats ass, stink wise.

So lets look at the big list of guilt here:

The boys, for getting out of hand with the dick in the ass thing.

Extra special sin points for the pastor for preaching for years that sex with men is evil, when in fact he thinks its delightful.

The pumpkin shaped lady who was screaming at them. Not that she was wrong, but if you weigh that much, you do NOT were spandex. Just saying.

Jerry himself, for making this evil little love triangle available for public consumption.

Shame shame on you all.

The only people in this entire thing that deserve any sorts of good thoughts and wishes are the boys families.

Their kids are looking at serious couch time in the future to deal with this shit.

I can only hope that some sort of outlaw biker club kidnaps the boys and puts them thru some sort of crude backwoods ass kicking/waterboarding.

Hopefully.

Call it a little Christmas gift for the masses.

And I still don’t think of waterboarding as torture.

Ho, ho, ho.

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10 Comments

Posted by on December 14, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

10 responses to “How is Jerry Springer still alive and kicking?

  1. Ed

    December 14, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    How about some shame heaped on you for watching? It wouldn’t be on the air if people didn’t watch. Can’t shame Jerry w/out shaming yourself. Other than that, I agree 100% with what you said.

     
    • Bittermac

      December 14, 2011 at 1:35 pm

      I don’t have to fess up to shit! I prefer to sit in my ivory tower and pass judgement. Meh!

       
  2. LaVicki

    December 14, 2011 at 2:32 pm

    Ohhh how I love this particular quote. “Extra special sin points for the pastor for preaching for years that sex with men is evil, when in fact he thinks its delightful.”

    Even tho I don’t agree with your stance on choosing to be gay – I LOVE this particular blog.

    Know why-cuz I was born this way baby!

    Ps. Joey and I often reflect on how well we are or are not raising our children. I use this show to gauge my pass or
    fail rate!

    So far. PASS!

     
    • Bittermac

      December 14, 2011 at 2:38 pm

      I think being bi is a choice. They boys could both stay with their wives, because they still like sex with women. They just want to be single and bang each other. They don’t even want to move in with each other. Its a question of standing by oaths and commitments, or choosing promiscuity. That is my point.

       
  3. Tranny Hooker

    December 15, 2011 at 1:17 pm

    GOD, I’ve missed you!! I’m finally on Christmas break from school and I have some time to catch up with your antics. So glad you haven’t changed! Keep it coming, Bitter! I love you, you hetro-racial fucker! 🙂

     
    • Bittermac

      December 15, 2011 at 1:28 pm

      Tranny, why do you hurt me like this? I think we could be good together. Sure there are a few obstacles, but we can make it work, babe! And what do you mean “Catch up on my antics?” Who do you think I write this stupid blog for if not you?

       
      • Tranny Hooker

        December 15, 2011 at 1:51 pm

        🙂 …….sigh…..

         
      • Bittermac

        December 15, 2011 at 2:31 pm

        Actually, read the last 5 days or so. Some of my strongest yet. Especially “Cause I’ll cut a bitch”. Enjoy.

         
  4. Scooter

    December 15, 2011 at 7:46 pm

    Always though the springer shows were repeats as I just flick through on my way to Jersey Shore. I also heard a long time ago that these “incredible stories” were fabricated and the people were actors….maybe that’s bullshit I don’t know. Talking about hypocrites, I saw something on j edgar hoover the other night….he was a walking, talking contradiction and he ran one of the most powerful agencies in the country….scary stuff

     
    • Bittermac

      December 15, 2011 at 9:58 pm

      I think most people are contradictions if you watch them long enough.

       

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