A shut up-date

02 Dec

Getting a glass of ice water pour over the top of the shower curtain is a bit of an eye opener in the early morning.

So much for keeping my mouth shut.

Let me back up a bit.

Fructis is a brand of shampoo, based on fruit I think.

Anyway, its pronounced Fru-teece.

When I bought it a month ago, I found it funny to call it Fruk-tice.

And I did this, all morning.

Drove my girlfriend nuts.

So I was in the shower, with the Fructice bottle dancing along the top of the shower curtain, chanting “Fruk-Tice, Fruktice.” while she was brushing her teeth.

When the ice water hit me it was like I’d been sucker punched.

Fast forward a month later, and I am in the shower, she is brushing her teeth.

And that damned bottle is up there, once again.

I swear, I must have Alzheimer’s.

And I can here the words coming out of my mouth, but distant, like someone else is saying it.

I got the forth “Fruk-tice” out of my mouth when the ice water hit me.

What am I, an idiot?

Possibly. More on that later.

But, it got me thinking.

What have I done lately that is along those lines of stupidity?

Lets see.

Ah, the first thing that comes to mind is watching tv at night, getting up and going into the bedroom for something.

And I stand there.

No clue what I wanted.

And I go sit back down on the couch.

About five minutes I get up and go back to the bedroom.

And stand there.

Then I go back to the couch.

This happens two more times before I finally get what I need.

This is more Alzheimer-ish than stupid.

Another thing that comes to mind is birthdays.

I am hideous at birthdays.

You might think this is going down that Alzheimer-ish road, but the stupid part is how I handle it.

A friend, went to high school with, just distant enough that I could be forgiven for forgetting their birthday.

But I saw an entire morning of “Happy Birthday” wishes on Facebook.

And then I ran into her in Starbucks.

And I never even mentioned her birthday.

Example number two is a coworker that I have worked with for close to 4 years.

I even took him to lunch last year for his birthday.

And just this morning I was sorting office mail and came across a birthday card that said “Happy Birthday” in big letters on the back.

So I asked him when his birthday was as I handed him the card.

It was yesterday.

We are not a huge company.

It was bad.

There are so many episodes that I look back on that think, “I really wish I had said something different”.

Oh well.

Sometimes the whole asshole thing is not by choice.

I think the about the people that handle things so much better might be because they have better instincts than I do.

But I doubt it.

I’m golden, asshole or not.


Posted by on December 2, 2011 in Uncategorized


2 responses to “A shut up-date

  1. Vicki

    December 2, 2011 at 11:08 am

    I do the same thing.. but then again we are the same age so maybe we BOTH are having issues with Alzhiemers… also when you have young adults it works out to your benefit… MOM I TOLD YOU I WAS GOING TO GO OUT ALL NIGHT.. noooooooooooo you didnt… see how that works?

    • Bittermac

      December 2, 2011 at 11:24 am

      I like that one. I have used the line “I don’t care what I said. I’m saying no now.”
      Confusion to the enemy.


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