Be thankful, you rotten shit.

24 Nov

Today is Thanksgiving.

A day for giving thanks.

This might seem like a simple idea, but you would be shocked at the wide variety of ideas of what today is about.

I think that being thankful is important, but you first have to understand what you are NOT thankful for.

So what are those items in my life that I am not truly thankful for?

Relatives that I don’t care for will be at Thanksgiving. I have a whole slew of these. The only solution is to wait them out until they die. I realize how harsh and shitty this sounds, but it is what it is.

Cranberrys. Like a damned Alzheimer’s patient, I will again eat cranberrys, this despite the fact that I hate them with a passion. They look nice, kind of like jello. And then I eat them and its one of those flavors I cannot get out of my mouth.

John Madden. Speaking of Alzheimers. The man has a verbal turrets syndrome that has to be heard to be believed.

I would also like to mention that, every year without fail, there will be some sort of odd dish that look odd, smells odd and that I cannot recognize one single thing in it. And no one will tell me what it is, but they will all be in favor of me tasting it.

Upon reflection, most of this stuff is whiny and kind of just bitching.


Its a day off and that almost demands that I pamper myself and do my best to balance family obligation and personal luxury.

Now that I have that out of the way, here is some of the stuff I am thankful for.

Family. Weird, twisted, brutal in your face people, but they are mine. It’s like being related to a kennel of vicious dogs. A lot of fun, but don’t turn your back. Still, I find myself full of love and admiration for the entire bunch, (With just a few exceptions, but they know who they are.)

I’ll play the hand I was dealt.

Friends. Again, an odd mixed bag of humanity that should have been my choice, but I just kind of ended up with. Fun bunch, loyal to a fault and I am thankful.

Love. Love is an odd thing. I have been blessed to find love in this world, more than once. For that, I am not only thankful, I am amazed.

Trust me, I am no day at the beach.

I mean, if you have read any of these blogs, trust me, the crazy shit is not confined to the writing.

I am thankful for a number of things that I do not have a funny line for. For that reason, lets just throw a “Hey, thankful!” at it and let it go.

The Occupy bunch. I am not thankful by them. More like embarrassed, but I try not to go political here. (Tiny statement: They’re misguided, pathetic and ignorant tools. There, said my piece)

I will eat turkey today, an incredibly healthy meat, yet surrounded by many unhealthy things.

This is the holiday where gluttony is not only accepted, its the goal.

A real American holiday.

I love this country, but you can so see why other countries hate us.

We have a holiday about having plenty of food.

You have to love that.

God Bless America.

And screw all the rest.

Yeah, I said it.


Posted by on November 24, 2011 in Uncategorized


8 responses to “Be thankful, you rotten shit.

  1. Rockstar

    November 24, 2011 at 10:26 am

    Today I am thankful for xanax…

    • Bittermac

      November 24, 2011 at 10:55 am

      It’s the little things.

  2. Meredith

    November 24, 2011 at 4:55 pm

    Thankful for this blog. Love it.

    • Bittermac

      November 24, 2011 at 8:34 pm

      I am thankful for this blog for an entirely different reason.

  3. Decker

    November 24, 2011 at 5:32 pm

    Love it

    • Bittermac

      November 24, 2011 at 8:35 pm


  4. Betteroff

    November 28, 2011 at 8:02 pm

    Just got a chance to read this blog. Fucking great, made even better when you know the cast . Waiting for them to die off ? To funny Willem! Cant wait till X Mas!

    • Bittermac

      November 29, 2011 at 8:32 am

      I am all about the holidays.


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