Not many things can pull me away from my laptop quicker than a public scene, especially a loud embarrassing one.
But I am watching the training of a serial killer.
Picture two brothers, one is older.
And a rotten little bully.
Most older brothers are are, its just the way boys are.
But this is where mom comes in as the equalizer.
Mom keeps the balance of things from getting too out of control.
My mother was a master at this.
Currently, the little brother is on the floor, pushed there by his older brother, a beady eyed little shit that is a rotten sadist.
If I sound hard on him, it may be because I was the little brother once. It really sucked on occasion.
When the little brother tries to get off the floor, his brother palms his face and pushes him down.
He is also, in a sick twist, alternating licking each hand and wiping it across his little brother’s face as he pushes him down.
It is a brutal thing to watch. Its the type of hideous shit that this kid is going to be dealing with for the rest of his life.
And watching him deal with it now is tough.
The little guy is rapidly being driven into hysterics.
All of this, in the middle of Starbucks, with mom standing right there.
She is either ignoring it, or is that oblivious to her surroundings.
My mother would beat the shit out of this woman.
The inevitable happens, and even goes bigger than I expected.
The little brother throws himself prone and shrieks at the top of his lungs.
And let me tell you, the kid has some lungs.
And then it gets better.
Like a ferret after a snake, the little brother spins around on the floor and launches himself at his older brothers ankle.
And mayhem ensues.
The kid must be part pit bull with the same type of jaw structure, because he is not letting go.
The older brother is now squealing like a pussy.
Serves the little bully right, hope he gets rabies.
Mom is finally involved.
Good for her, hopes she gets a lovely gift on mothers day.
Today, however, she is trying to force her index finger in between her youngest”s teeth in order to get him to unlock his jaws off of his brother’s ankle.
All while the bully screamed at the top of his lungs.
It was awesome.
There is a twitch that the entire Starbucks gets when a little kid screams.
There is an entirely different vibe when a child is losing it because he is, in effect, being eaten.
And its a lot of fun.
The business people speed up. They realize that if shit really goes down, the police might be called and if they are asked to make a statement, and that would make them late for work. So they just want to clear out.
The yoga people make a show of ignoring it. They are all mothers who’s kids are elsewhere why they are at yoga. So, since its not THEIR kid, they let it go.
The Starbucks peeps want to help, but don’t know how.
Basically, its a nice tense scene that is a lot of fun to witness.
In the end, the little bugger drew blood. Mom smacked him on the ass once, then immediately felt horrible for “STRIKING HER CHILD IN PUBLIC” and started crying.
The little brother was going to get his ass kicked by his brother eventually. That is the nature of bullies.
But for that one hysterical moment, the little kid owned him.
And he knows it.