Facebook can be a lot of fun.
By fun, I mean that it can suck up way too much of your time doing inane crap that really has no basis in life. There is that story of the guy that used Facebook to get a job, but I assume that is more of an urban myth.
Facebook will practically ban you if you do not upload a profile pic. They intend this to be a visual form of ID for friends and family. What they really want is for you to stay on Facebook longer and click on their advertising.
But an ugly Facebook pic is never a pleasant thing.
There are a few types of pics that are as annoying as sitting on a wet toilet seat.
- Number one is that pic that screams either “I am a teenager” or “I am desperately trying to be a teenager”. It is always taken in the bathroom, via phone held in one hand, the other hand thrust out in an upside down peace symbol. The lips are purse into a severe kiss pucker. Yes, you are so street, Britney. You are still part of the 1% and people you don’t even know hate you for the wrong reasons.
- Number 2 is any pic of just your pet. I don’t give a crap about your chihuahua. He is not precious, special, or “Really really” smart. He is an annoying little kick’em dog who is too inbred to enjoy a long life. I have also heard that, in other countries, chihuahua is delicious. I wouldn’t hesitate.
- Number 3 is the profile pic that is something different and impossible every week. First, they’re playing guitar, then they’re skating, then they’re water skiing. The annoying part comes in that, when I look at that, I feel like I am not doing enough with my day. I already know I am an underachiever, don’t rub my nose in it.
- The joke pic that falls flat. You have on some funky clothes, and your expression tells us that you think the shirt is a lot funkier that it really is. Not funny, more sad and leaves us to wonder if you are a little slow. Run Forest, run!
- A pic that is abstract to the point that it makes no sense without an explanation. An apple on a butchers block table in suffused light is not a good profile pic. I don’t have this kind of time and besides, I got a D in art appreciation in high school. It made no sense to me and most of it seemed either gay or filthy, or God forbid both, which is even creepier.
Also, as a general rule, a blurry picture tells me that you are that freakin insecure about your looks that you would rather be opaque.
And stop posting pics of fantastic scenes as your profile pic. I do this myself and it annoys the crap out of me. (I happen to live in an amazing section of the world, eat envy, people.)
And, I was originally going to speak out against pics of you Planking, Owling, Batmaning…etc. and then I looked over my pics and found more than I had expected.
So no comment.
Nudity will always be banned.
I have kind of accidentally posted nudity and Facebook has left it alone. However the blatant one of Naked Bruce eating pizza at Burning Man didn’t last out the day.
Even my ex wife, (Who is banned from my account) called within the first hour of posting.
Its a long story.