How ugly is your Facebook pics?

10 Nov

Facebook can be a lot of fun.

By fun, I mean that it can suck up way too much of your time doing inane crap that really has no basis in life. There is that story of the guy that used Facebook to get a job, but I assume that is more of an urban myth.

Facebook will practically ban you if you do not upload a profile pic. They intend this to be a visual form of ID for friends and family. What they really want is for you to stay on Facebook longer and click on their advertising.

But an ugly Facebook pic is never a pleasant thing.

There are a few types of pics that are as annoying as sitting on a wet toilet seat.

  • Number one is that pic that screams either “I am a teenager” or “I am desperately trying to be a teenager”. It is always taken in the bathroom, via phone held in one hand, the other hand thrust out in an upside down peace symbol. The lips are purse into a severe kiss pucker. Yes, you are so street, Britney. You are still part of the 1% and people you don’t even know hate you for the wrong reasons.
  • Number 2 is any pic of just your pet. I don’t give a crap about your chihuahua. He is not precious, special, or “Really really” smart. He is an annoying little kick’em dog who is too inbred to enjoy a long life. I have also heard that, in other countries, chihuahua is delicious. I wouldn’t hesitate.
  • Number 3 is the profile pic that is something different and impossible every week. First, they’re playing guitar, then they’re skating, then they’re water skiing. The annoying part comes in that, when I look at that, I feel like I am not doing enough with my day. I already know I am an underachiever, don’t rub my nose in it.
  • The joke pic that falls flat. You have on some funky clothes, and your expression tells us that you think the shirt is a lot funkier that it really is. Not funny, more sad and leaves us to wonder if you are a little slow. Run Forest, run!
  • A pic that is abstract to the point that it makes no sense without an explanation. An apple on a butchers block table in suffused light is not a good profile pic. I don’t have this kind of time and besides, I got a D in art appreciation in high school. It made no sense to me and most of it seemed either gay or filthy, or God forbid both, which is even creepier.

Also, as a general rule, a blurry picture tells me that you are that freakin insecure about your looks that you would rather be opaque.

And stop posting pics of fantastic scenes as your profile pic. I do this myself and it annoys the crap out of me. (I happen to live in an amazing section of the world, eat envy, people.)

And, I was originally going to speak out against pics of you Planking, Owling, Batmaning…etc. and then I looked over my pics and found more than I had expected.

So no comment.

Nudity will always be banned.


I have kind of accidentally posted nudity and Facebook has left it alone. However the blatant one of Naked Bruce eating pizza at Burning Man didn’t last out the day.

Even my ex wife, (Who is banned from my account) called within the first hour of posting.

Its a long story.



Posted by on November 10, 2011 in Uncategorized


59 responses to “How ugly is your Facebook pics?

  1. Beach Mom

    November 10, 2011 at 8:34 am

    My daughter got her job that she has now from a company posting they were looking for someone on Facebook. It does happen.

    As for posting pictures other than yourself as your profile picture…You can not select who sees your profile picture as you can with all your other pictures. A profile picture is out there for anyone on Facebook to see and steal. I have a stalker who has taken my profile pictures of me and made fake profiles of me. They also created a fake email account and was sending emails to people with my picture attached. My profile picture is always something abstract now!!!

    • Bittermac

      November 10, 2011 at 9:10 am

      More companies are asking for social media savvy people. Congrats on her job.
      As for the other. Ok, sure, if someone is going to do nutty shit to you, they are going to take what they can. Its like if someone decides to rob a bank, you really can’t chew out the bank for having money in the vault. So you are smart to take precautions.
      And the really crappy thing about Facebook is, you can’t mace anyone. (Because some people need it.)

      • Job off of Facebook

        November 10, 2011 at 9:36 am

        Yes I did get my job off of a Facebook post by the company, but I also work in advertisement and Facebook is a major part of marketing now a days. They got tired of people not working out and so they turned to their followers.

        Oh and I think that some people need a tazer more than mace, cause I don’t think mace would get through to them.

      • Bittermac

        November 10, 2011 at 9:42 am

        What’s your view on Waterboarding?

      • Job off of Facebook

        November 10, 2011 at 10:43 am

        There is a time and place for everything. Waterboarding included. So it really depends on the reason behind it and what kind of information is acquired through its use. Sad as it is sometimes the only way to get information out of dangerous people is be torturous

      • Bittermac

        November 10, 2011 at 10:48 am

        Personally, I am a big fan of waterboarding. I think it should admissible in court, and in fact used in court. “Your honor? Permission to waterboard the witness?”

  2. Puzzled

    November 10, 2011 at 9:19 am

    Once again, I think you missed the point, but that is not unusual for this blog.
    The amount of sexual predators on Facebook is near epidemic proportions. Completely ignored by you. However, since you have admittedly posted nudity on Facebook, perhaps they should be looking into YOUR activities.
    I am also not shocked to find that you are divorced.
    This blog is a farce and you should be ashamed.

    • Bittermac

      November 10, 2011 at 9:25 am

      Ms. X, this is unexpected.
      I honestly hoped you had stopped reading this blog. Truly.
      Bitch, please.
      I cannot miss a point if I am the one making the point. This blog is an observation based on my opinion. I did not read someone elses and this is my take on it. No point to miss.
      So, once again, you are back in your little ignorance foxhole, firing shots at my unprotected ass.
      Bring it, dumbass, and pack a lunch.
      Take care.

      Eat shit.

      • Betteroff

        November 10, 2011 at 9:43 am

        Dear Miss Puzzled I come here for my daily humor , but no I get you and your bit of crazy. Honestly ? This wasn’t about you or so you believe ? But as a divorced woman or possible man, or maybe even the stalker I’m believing your not getting enough attention. So do me a solid and Fuck Off already ! Close one eye I’ll bet your stalker goes away ? And bonus you’ll still be abstract.

  3. CR

    November 10, 2011 at 9:41 am

    Bittermac – Keep em coming – this is the kind of entertainment I need each day. I love your followers too. They kick ass. Keep the comments coming people. I think Bittermac has a response.

    • Bittermac

      November 10, 2011 at 9:44 am

      Nobody walks into my house and takes a swing at me without getting bitten. And I never fight fair, no point in it.

  4. Puzzled

    November 10, 2011 at 9:49 am

    I am not shocked that all of your uncaring nazi followers are angry. I wonder how many of them are you, afraid to speak your mind for fear that your meager following might finally see the light and quit reading.

    • Bittermac

      November 10, 2011 at 9:53 am

      You rotten bitch.
      When have I ever hid from you? Leave the cheerleaders out of it, this is just about you and me. I have never pulled my punches, either on an opinion or in reply to your distorted, soft-minded, sob-sister BULLSHIT! What in the hell makes you think I am holding anything back? If this is me restrained, lock me up and throw away the key.

      And what part of EAT SHIT do you not understand?

    • Beach Mom

      November 10, 2011 at 10:27 am

      You had better watch who you call a Nazi you stupid, ignorant Bitch. Some of us on here are Jewish.

      • Bittermac

        November 10, 2011 at 10:45 am

        Oh now she’s done it! Its on. Beach Mom doesn’t get pissed that often….

      • Puzzled

        November 10, 2011 at 11:35 am

        I would think that someone, of the Jewish persuasion, would be more sensitive to the “Hate speech” common to this blog. How disappointing.

      • Job off of Facebook

        November 10, 2011 at 11:41 am

        So calling us Nazis isn’t hateful? Hypocritical people should really keep their mouths shut.

      • Bittermac

        November 10, 2011 at 11:48 am

        Oh no, she is trying to educate us and show us the errors of our own ignorance. 10 to 1 this turns out to be Nancy Pelosi.

      • Beach Mom

        November 10, 2011 at 11:42 am

        You are the only one full of hate on here. Bittermac has a funny spin on life and his encounters. Pull the stick out of your ass and laugh a little. Having anger like yours will age you prematurely.

      • Bittermac

        November 10, 2011 at 11:56 am

        Now you’ve done it. If I find out you are typing this in the booty shorts, I am going to lose it.

      • Beach Mom

        November 10, 2011 at 12:04 pm

        If it’s warm enough the next time I meet you for coffee, I promise to wear my booty shorts. Otherwise you will have to settle for your favorite sweater.

      • Bittermac

        November 10, 2011 at 12:28 pm

        I will settle for the sweater. Is it wrong to have anticipatory wood?

      • Beach Mom

        November 10, 2011 at 12:37 pm

        Bra or no bra???

      • Bittermac

        November 10, 2011 at 12:43 pm

        Need you ask?

      • Job off of Facebook

        November 10, 2011 at 11:42 am

        Also since you take part in “hate speech” then are you a disappointment to yourself?

      • Bittermac

        November 10, 2011 at 11:58 am

        Maybe she’s right, I mean, I do hate her, and adding “eat shit” to the end of my replies to her could be construed negatively.

      • Bittermac

        November 10, 2011 at 11:47 am

        Lady, are you shitting me?
        “Jewish persuasion?” How ignorant are you?

      • Job off of Facebook

        November 10, 2011 at 11:55 am

        That part made me laugh (at her ignorance)…I’ve never heard it referred to that way.

    • Rockstar

      November 10, 2011 at 10:28 am

      Actually, I am angry. I am angry about the price of gas and groceries. I’m angry about the lack of jobs and the people who are struggling. I’m angry that nobody rinsed the dishes last night and put them in the dishwasher.

      But you? Angry with you? Um, no. Actually, I’m quite puzzled myself. I’m not sure how “what pictures to use for your FB profile” has to do with “the amount of sexual predators on FB…” That’s a Grand Canyon sized leap. And calling people Nazis is so uncouth…

      • Bittermac

        November 10, 2011 at 10:46 am

        Rockstar, there is an obvious connection between a Facebook pic and fondling small children. I am just not sure what it is.

      • Rockstar

        November 10, 2011 at 10:57 am

        Perhaps I missed that day of my college logic class. I’ll mull it over while I fix this stuffed cow… (and no, that’s not a euphemism.)

    • Job off of Facebook

      November 10, 2011 at 10:40 am

      Nazis? Really that is the best come back you can come up with? You are a complete joke.

      • Bittermac

        November 10, 2011 at 10:47 am

        It is the standard reply of her type. Anyone that disagrees with her is demonized. See also Tea Party

    • Vicki

      November 10, 2011 at 11:59 am

      Hey Ms eat shit or Ms X or puzzled. It appears YOU are the only one that is full of hate ignorance and pure stupidity. The CHEERLEADERS are real people. The kind of girls that wee NOT cheerleaders in HS because we were too busy hanging out at the beach, smoking cloves and getng laid! Back of nutty bitch or the wrath of “the rich bitch” will come out of me. It’s been years and I’m ready for a throw down!

      Ps. Great Blog Willy!!

      • Bittermac

        November 10, 2011 at 12:06 pm

        Aside from the spellcheck issue, Vicki is right. However, as pointed out by others, mace, tazing and waterboarding are out since its all digital. Pity. Often times, being blind, in pain, and losing temporary control of your bodily functions can give you some great perspective.

  5. Occupy Melbourne

    November 10, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    Actually, I don’t think Puzzled (or Ms. X as you’ve called her) is that wrong. To take such a light hearted view and skirt over the important issues is why you Yanks have destroyed your economy and Europes


    • Bittermac

      November 10, 2011 at 12:26 pm

      This is why Australia is a third world country, just with better plumbing. How the FUCK is my comment about a Facebook pic destroying Europes economy? I will take the blame for a lot of shit I’ve pulled over the years, but I am not owning that one.

      So come on down and throw another “EAT SHIT” on the barbi, Crocodile Dumbshit.

    • Job off of Facebook

      November 10, 2011 at 12:28 pm

      maybe you can explain this to me since you have occupy in your name…what is the occupy wall street protest about? i have yet to receive a straight forward answer or a consistent one. So perhaps you can explain that for me.

      • Bittermac

        November 10, 2011 at 12:45 pm

        Its all about the haves, and the have nots. And the have nots, well, they want what the haves have, without having to do anything other than sleep in a tent for a few weeks. That is as clear as I can make it.

      • Job off of Facebook

        November 10, 2011 at 12:55 pm

        That’s what I thought but they seem to try to come up with a bullshit ulterior motive everytime I see anything about it. I don’t see what them protesting is going to accomplish.

      • Bittermac

        November 10, 2011 at 1:25 pm

        Nothing. They are convinced that the world will suddenly, see the light, and capitalism will go away. And they are Tweeting all this on their Iphone.

    • Beach Mom

      November 10, 2011 at 12:30 pm

      I don’t see how someone writing a blog about things he finds funny and quirky in this world has to do with the worlds economy. It’s called humor…Maybe you should experience some!!!

      • Bittermac

        November 10, 2011 at 12:47 pm

        I am still in awe of the two items in question. That my opinion on Facebook pics is somehow connected to sexual predators and that I am also responsible for Europes economy. Where do I get the time?

      • Job off of Facebook

        November 10, 2011 at 12:58 pm

        you must have a clone helping you accomplish all of this, or you have figured out how to break the space-time continuum.

  6. stacey

    November 10, 2011 at 12:37 pm

    You left out Team Pics~which I love anyways! Some I agree w/you others now you’re just being a complainer but what else is new~lol

    • Bittermac

      November 10, 2011 at 12:50 pm

      I will take that. With as much as I am being accused of today, that seems minimal.

  7. Job off of Facebook

    November 10, 2011 at 12:52 pm

    If I were a psychology major I’d write my term paper your commenters transition from having to do with your blog topic to completely off the wall topics that are totally unrelated…I think it would make an interesting study to see how their brain makes a connection between them

    • Rockstar

      November 10, 2011 at 1:02 pm

      We have a winner!!! The stuffed cow has four legs again, and I’m STILL trying to find the connetion from “pictures you should not post on FB,” to “sexual predators on FB.”

      Still trying.

      Still trying.

      Yep, still trying.

      Nope, just not seeing it. Perhaps it included jumping a shark?

      • Bittermac

        November 10, 2011 at 1:26 pm

        I loved Happy Days.

      • Bittermac

        November 10, 2011 at 2:05 pm

        And for gods sake, will you people click on the Amazon ad on the right side and buy something? Anything? I’ll beg, I don’t mind!

      • Beach Mom

        November 10, 2011 at 2:09 pm

        Thanks for reminding me…I need to order my daughter a rear wiper for her car from there. They don’t carry the small size wipers anywhere around here.

      • Rockstar

        November 10, 2011 at 3:48 pm

        I’ll be doing some holiday shopping soon, and will definitely remember to click thru!

      • Bittermac

        November 10, 2011 at 4:27 pm

        Thats all I’m asking for people! Just a little shameless capitalism directed my way. 1% here I come!

    • Bittermac

      November 10, 2011 at 1:24 pm

      Its a fairly easy concept. Up is down, and down, is my fault. See?

  8. Beach Mom

    November 11, 2011 at 8:14 am

    Hey Willy,
    Do you think Puzzled might be your crazy ex-wife? Maybe she is missing you and wants you back.

    • Bittermac

      November 11, 2011 at 9:06 am

      No, Ex isn’t all that crazy. Aside from a few quirks, very conservative and never was that devious. I am the one that would pull shit like that.

      • Beach Mom

        November 11, 2011 at 9:25 am

        I keep thinking it’s someone you know that is messing with you. I wish they would reveal their true identity.

      • Bittermac

        November 11, 2011 at 9:40 am

        That is the deliciously neat part about it, it could be anyone. Hell, it could be you. Got anything you want to tell me?

      • Beach Mom

        November 11, 2011 at 10:33 am

        If it was me, I would never use the term “Jewish Persuasion”.


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