Everyone has that friend who is gay and everybody knows it.
Growing up, my Aunt and Uncle had a little hamburger restaurant that pretty much employed the whole family.
It was a lot like jury duty. It was considered your duty and you were unpatriotic if you didn’t.
And there was my Aunt’s friend Gale.
Gale was probably 40 when I first met him.
To be crude for a moment, when I first saw him in my teens, my mind said, wow, he is a big ol queen.
Before you jump on the anger bandwagon, keep in mind that I have called 3 different men old queens to their face and that have all thought that was the funniest thing they have ever heard.
And how can it be hateful if all parties involved are laughing? (This makes perfect sense to me so deal with it.)
Anyway, when I first met him, Gale had just gotten divorced. From a woman.
How the hell did she not see it?
I hate to keep beating a dead horse about this but it was really obvious to anyone who met him.
Anyway, they were married for less than a decade. Picture a child holding his nose to take the nasty medicine.
It was at this time that Gale began managing the hamburger place for my aunt.
Two different things began to happen at this point.
First, Gale’s style of dress changed. I am not sure if you have seen a 40 year old man, not in the greatest of shape, rockin a pair of Dolphin shorts and a mesh belly shirt, but it is as interesting to see as it is disturbing.
The second odd thing a few of us in the family noticed was that all the employees the Gale hired fit a set description. Young Italian-looking males between 18 and 24, dark eyed with pouty lips.
I got to know one of the guys he hired and even he was a little iffy on whether or not Gale had hit on him before.
But the funniest part of all?
Gale never came out.
No matter how prissy and oh fay he went, he always shied away from admission.
Oh, occasionally he would throw out what I am sure he thought was a total butch statement.
- “Whats the score?” No matter what the sport, even when the score is on the screen. And with the giant screen tv at the hamburger pace, the score could be a solid foot tall.
- “Got any hot babes lined up for tonight?” I am sure he thought this was the sort of pussy talk guys had just before they went out.
- “I’d a kicked that guys ass.” This only sounds butch. But, when you add in the scrunched up nose, Vincent Price demeanor, it really took on a kind of core creepiness that was hard to shake.
He finally sat down with my Aunt and confessed that, yes, he was gay. And that he was tired of hiding it.
Her comment was a classic.
“And you’re the last to know, Gale.”