My teeth are itching at the beginning of the blog, that is how annoyed I am.
I am being stared at by someone that is entirely too damn happy.
On my tv.
It gets worse.
With an Australian accent.
The product is being thrust at the camera more often than a dick in a porn film.
And that is never pleasant for anyone.
I am at the point where I don’t even know what they are pimping on the show.
I am not certain I care.
And yet, like some sort of visual crack, I can’t stay away.
The one thing I can’t seem to get around is my hatred of the hosts.
I think they were halfway thru doing something in the blender when I realized I was truly hoping that either host would get their hand caught and chewed in the blender.
At that point, I would call and buy one of whatever they were selling.
But thats me.
The only thing thats worse is the Home Shopping Network.
You lose the foreign accents but you have a lot more products.
They range from outright crap to some actual quality stuff.
Put it together with the usual price rape and what you have left is truly inhuman.
And you don’t have a choice.
Once you start watching, its like hypnosis.
I have bought crap that I didn’t need, would never need and couldn’t afford at the time.
Beveled herringbone gold chain? $99.95 each? And I don’t even have one!
I have 3 now.
And I don’t wear chains.
The only thing that might make it more evil is if they adopted the main convention of all true drug dealers.
The first hit is free.
Starbucks does that one.
I was doing my usual the other day at a table when one the manager wandered over with a tray of samples.
Ah, refreshing berrie tea. I bought one before I left.
AND I DON”T DRINK TEA.
Except that maybe now I do.