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Peeing is tough enough.

14 Oct

I don’t like being mad-dogged at the urinal.

Let me pee in peace.

There is kind of an unspoken etiquette at the men’s room urinals.

It is a lot like being in prison.

For the most part, guys are convinced that a possible prison rape seen could happen at any moment.

Its a tense atmosphere for most guys. Except the guys that are in the men’s room, looking for love.

Me? I don’t need any new friends.

That being said, could you look lovingly into someone elses eyes for 2 minutes?

No offense. This is a don’t ask, don’t tell. I don’t ask because I don’t want to be told.

Let me set the scene.

There are four stand up urinals against the wall, with the door on the right.

If I take the one 2nd from the left, that leaves one between me and the wall and two between me and the door.

If you come in, please take the one furthest from me, it causes the least trouble.

If you take the one next to me, on my right with the door, you will interrupt my urinating as I wonder if there is an attack coming.

And god forbid you take the one between me and the wall. At this point, I am done urinating and I KNOW you have an agenda.

And I don’t need to have my urinating interrupted. I am at that age where any issue with the flow has me worrying about my prostate. You have to watch that sucker like a hawk.

Back to the urinal.

I realize how all of this sounds. There are some of you screeching “Homophobe!”

And?

I think a little fear is good for you.

So is guilt.

Keeps you on your toes, your head in the game.

I was raised Catholic, so the whole fear and guilt thing goes with it and I get that.

We keep getting away from the urinal and I am starting to think that it is an ok thing.

Urinals smell horrible.

Ladies don’t realize how bad men’s rooms are.

I always refer to them as the Monkey Hut.

Like at the zoo.

Shit on the walls is unpleasant, but not all that unexpected.

Men will pee on the seat, on the floor, the wall.

You name it.

I once read a news article about a man who had never used a public toilet. He spent a huge amount of time travelling from work to home to use the bathroom.

The more I think about that one, the more I think that it would be awesome.

It would be clean.

It would smell nice.

And no one would maddog you mid-pee.

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1 Comment

Posted by on October 14, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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One response to “Peeing is tough enough.

  1. Ray

    October 16, 2011 at 8:45 am

    As a designer, I make sure to at least add the”cock blocker wall”. We don’t need to see the person next to us doing his thing. Even if we stair at that tile in front of our face, we know what’s happening next door. I don’t understand these architects who cram as many urinals as possible in a tight area, where the user will be elbow to elbow when using them. Was that two shakes or three or damn how much did you have to drink. Even worse, who the f… thought we would be cool with pissing in a trough. I was at the Forum for a show and the bathroom have troughs that hold a least 20 people each. Thanks again to the architect. Regarding the other point made, why can’t men control the beast. OK, I understand a few drop splashing out (be kind wipe it up). But in my professional business building, it sometimes looks as if the person stood five feet away and missed with half the flow. We need more cock blocker walls with spacious urinals that have larger receptacles.

     

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