Pageant girls

29 Sep

I read People magazine on the toilet in the mornings.

Get over it, at least as a visual, its a funny one.

There is a picture of a little girl on the cover. She is wearing a revealing gown, too much makeup and has that stare that child prostitutes in 3rd world countries have. That zombie like stare of someone that knows that there is unpleasant work to do, no matter how distasteful, she has a job to do.

She is not in the slave trade.

She is a pageant child.

A rose by any other name, smells…aw forget it.

There is nothing poetic to be said here, The little girl’s mom should be in jail.

Toddlers and Tiaras.

To watch the show turns my stomach, but its like a train wreck in slo mo and you can’t look away.

Anytime the mothers are on camera, they launch into this totally unasked for defense of what they do.

The mothers fall into two categories from what I could see. They are either the chubby girl that never thought much of themselves and are living the pretty and popular dream thru their kids, or, in mother category number two is the failed pageant mom.

She was pretty…..once.

She won a few pageants….a long time ago.

She didn’t have the looks, talent, ability, take your pick, to go the distance and get any sort of crown as an adult. Their child will do it in their place no matter how much dignity you have to shed.

Its fairly pathetic.

I am once again in that fateful position of thinking that Karma is not pulling its weight.

Just once, in the mom interview portion, if just one of them could be struck by lightening, I would be good with it.

If the Pope, in his infinite wisdom, would dispatch some Vatican trained assassins to take a few out, I would be ok with that, too.

Something other than another season of this.

It lacks dignity. Any. Like a big sucking vacuum-like dignity void swirling around the ballroom of a midwestern Holiday Inn.

I hesitated at the thought of writing this one. I have been getting some serious whining and bitching over being too serious and not being funny.

Where do you go with this one?

An even better question is, once these poor little girls grow up in this pressured “looks are everything” environment, at what point do they turn against themselves and start destroying their lives? Late teens or early twenties?

That is a grim little picture of the future that makes the show a hit for everyone who does not have a kid on that show.

And the mothers on the show are just excited that they are getting so much attention. Which they are mistaking for fame.

Its morbid curiosity mixed with an even combo of anger and pity.

And it makes you worry about the future of these kids.

My next question is, at what point do these girls hate their mothers?

As much as the rest of us do?


Posted by on September 29, 2011 in Uncategorized


3 responses to “Pageant girls

  1. Bittermac

    September 29, 2011 at 10:32 am

    Seems we have a Pageant Mom in the crowd, I had no idea. I have drilled right into a nerve evidently.

    As always, quit emailing me. How can we discuss this like sarcastic adults if there is no crowd around?

    Alright, 3 quick quotes.

    “The kids love it.” Hard to prove. At that age, children are willing to do anything to please you. As the mother, you should know this and not exploit your child with it.

    “You have no idea what a children pageant is like.” Not true. I have watched several episodes on a giant screen with 1080P HD. Its the same thing as being there.

    “Heartless basterd that doesn’t like children.” First off, learn to spell your curse words. Second, I have two of my own that I love. Would you like to know the children I dislike? The ones that grow up and exploit their children for their own needs, then send rude emails to other that criticize it.

    I am begging you to follow this up with a response.

    Bite me.

  2. Lance

    September 29, 2011 at 4:44 pm

    Willy, I agree whole heartedly with you, if not as pessimistically. I think it foolish and they do give young girls a false impression of what is important, but I have a niece that was a “Child Pageant Queen” who has not yet started doing porn or pole dancing. So far she is well adjusted and a nice young lady. Maybe she is just lucky though. I don’t believe in anecdotal evidence and I would have to see statistics to the contrary to believe these pageants don’t do some harm to the psyches of most of the children involved.

    • Bittermac

      September 29, 2011 at 6:45 pm

      I like that thought, I want to see evidence that it doesn’t damage them in the long run before I move on this.


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