This little financial piggy went to market…

16 Sep

Chuck and the stock market.

There is a retired guy that sits in the corner and just listens to his headphones and watches stocks.

His stocks.

He has 10 stocks on his screen. I am rude enough to have sat next to him and looked at them and then looked them up. Total invasion of privacy, but I know where he keeps his money.

I don’t know how much he started with, but he seems to be doing well. Lots of DOW stocks, but a few riskier ones mix in for spice. He mutters in an agitated way when one of the stocks spikes.

Today, he is agitated more than usual. Not in a bad way, but antsy in his seat. Excited.

Oh, lets go talk.

I am a regular in this Starbucks and have seen Chuck dozens of times. It is easy to get people to talk when you are kind of unspoken nodding acquaintances.

Chuck, it seems, has hit it big with his stocks.

He confides that he has a stock that he just started buying a month ago, and has since tripled in price.

This, he says, is due to a new process they introduced, that is totally new in the industry.

I don’t know and don’t care what industry.

I ask him the secret to his luck.

His son works for the company and told him about the coming announcement.


Is it me or did Chuck just confess to Insider Trading in the middle of a Starbucks? To a total stranger who writes a blog about shit he hears in Starbucks?

Ironic, isn’t it?

Luckily, I can keep a secret. (Convoluted rules govern what spills and what doesn’t)

As long as I am cut in on it. This, in a nutshell, is the whore-like nature of my existence.

Money, they say, is the root of all evil.

I disagree.

Lack of money leads to a hell of a lot more evil and fucking over of friends and family.

Take a look at Ronaldo, just as an Example. (Read the blog- Sins of the Son…)

The only reason that Chuck is willing to risk jail time, his sons job, and countless tense future Thanksgivings (Wish I could be there) is because of the possibility of making filthy amounts of money trading on his son’s behind the scenes knowledge.

Money, money, money.

It would be a different world if there was no money.

A real world.

A real boring world.

Lets face it, life is like gambling, its the money that makes it all worth doing.

Without it, its a kids game.

But, back to Chuck.

Is he a bad guy? Is he in kahoots with his son?

What the hell does kahoots mean, anyway? Its an archaic word. Like making a mistake and calling it a boner. (That still makes me laugh, kind of a turn-of-the-century dick joke.)

Wish I knew Chuck’s son though.

Cause I would insider trade in a heartbeat.

It would be neat to be in on something sneaky and somewhat evil like that. One of the wheels in a massive ponzie scheme.

Bernie Madoff’s right hand guy.

Hiding money from the feds. Fake companies in Grand Cayman. Mistresses. Corrupt officials. Bought and sold congressmen. Shadow government agents.

Steven Speilberg could be brought in for the movie version.

Provided he is not under indictment. Cause you know I would target celebs.

This is actually much more evil that I ever thought.

And in the end? When the feds are closing in and everything goes to hell?

I roll over on everyone.

Probably a good thing I don’t know Chuck’s son.

Evil looks good on me like a new suit.

Leave a comment

Posted by on September 16, 2011 in Uncategorized


Tags: , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s