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Yes, Virginia, there is a Bittermac

10 Dec

I have a soft spot for polite homeless people, this is a documented fact.

You might complain that I treat them like pets, to be screwed with for my own amusement, except that I do that with everyone, so I am treating them the same.

But, I mainly deal with Manhattan Beach Homeless.

Tonight, I am in Hollywood.

And this is where the homeless bring their A game to the table.

Hollywood and Vine is kind of like the Vegas strip of Hollywood, lots for the eye to see.

So for a homeless person to make it here, they have to catch and hold your opinion.

Like the guy coming up.

I am a half block from Skoobies hot dogs.

Skoobies, for those who don’t know, is an infamous hot dog fixture on Hollywood Blvd since forever.

When I am nearby, I go to Skoobies.

And this is where I found Virginia. (Yes, he’s a guy. However, you will see in a second.)

And Virginia has a sign.

“NEED MONEY FOR A PONY BECAUSE SANTA IS A BITCHASS PUNK.”

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.

However, it is not me.

Call it a quirk, but I dislike rude homeless people.

Yes, you say, but he may have a drug problem or a mental issue.

Thats not my problem.

He is a salesman.

He has to sell me on the idea of me giving him money.

So it is all about presentation.

Funny sign? It can help, but I feel that profanity can alienate your audience.

I used to train sales people, so you while I don’t mind profanity, I mind that he is not going for the biggest demographic.

So no money for him.

And then his presentation went into overdrive.

“You ever had a dream, man?”

His voice is surprisingly plaintive and sad.

I slow down.

I look.

Eye contact is the first step to money and he knows it.

“Yeah.” I answer without consciously thinking about it.

“I didn’t get a lot of stuff I wanted, but a pony, man that woulda been nice, man.”

I shit you not, TEARS in his eyes.

It is an illogical thing.

I KNOW he is not saving to buy a damned pony. For a fact.

But, he struck a note.

And got a dollar from me.

I am a sucker for a solid presentation.
Now for Blog business.
Starting this week, there will only be a blog posted on Tuesdays and Thursdays going forward.
The reasons for this are many, but mainly I am beginning to move into another area of writing that I am really enjoying.
Sketch Comedy.
The Tuesday/Thursday posts will be a bit longer, perhaps fleshing things out in that manner you seem to like.
I know some of you are going to be a little bummed about this.
But I would rather cut back and continue to give you a solid post, than keep trying to put out a daily post that I am burning out on.
Thank you for your support.

 
3 Comments

Posted by on December 10, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

3 responses to “Yes, Virginia, there is a Bittermac

  1. Beach Mom

    December 10, 2012 at 8:42 am

    I think this is a good choice for you. I see big thing for you and your writing in the future.

     
    • Bittermac

      December 10, 2012 at 10:00 am

      Beach mom, where in the hell would I be without you?

       
      • Beach Mom

        December 10, 2012 at 2:37 pm

        My support isn’t going to change.

         

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